291: The Hidden Mind Patterns That Block Healing — Why Illness Can Keep Coming Back

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it and I just love today’s episode for so many reasons. It is so insightful and powerful and mind expanding. And it can help you to see the reason or the reasons that so many people can stay stuck when it comes to self-healing.

Because what you’ll notice is that our beautiful volunteer today has been working on healing herself for many, many years, and she has found that she overcomes an illness and then it comes back and she overcomes it and it comes back over and over and over. And you’ll notice, you know, that on past episodes, that is something that I talk about frequently, is that if we’re not really rewiring the mind at a deeper level, that that very thing can happen.

It’s common. Also, you hear me talk about all of the time, the reason that we need to go beyond meditation to really to create real change. And what you’ll see so clearly from this episode is the reason for that. And how meditation can be helpful in some ways, but can also backfire in many ways as well.

And that is something that I experienced in my own life, and that is something that I see all of the time. And so again, there are just so many reasons I could go on and on and on. The reasons that I love today’s episode, and one of those of course, is our beautiful volunteer. Her name is Melissa, and you are absolutely going to love her.

She just has incredible self-awareness and authenticity and self-honesty and just, she’s brilliant and beautiful and wonderful. And again, what I also love is just some of the very things that I experienced going through my own injury or that I’ve seen people, even since I healed, you know, over the past 15 plus years now that I’ve seen people get stuck in.

You’ll see from today’s episode. And not only that, but you’ll also see how counterintuitive the mind is and how that can really keep you stuck and work against you. Again, just so many beautiful insights from this, and again, a beautiful, beautiful volunteer. And so on that note, let’s go ahead and dive in with beautiful Melissa.

Here we go.

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The Session Begins: Melissa’s Story

Hello, Melissa.
Hi, Brandy.
Hi, beautiful. It’s wonderful to connect with you.
Absolutely. Thank you so much for this opportunity and for speaking with me. I’m really grateful.
Likewise, likewise. It’s wonderful to connect with you and what can I help you with today? Beautiful.
So you were recommended to me. Um, and I just wanted to talk with you a little bit about my, my health journey and what I’ve been accomplishing and trying to accomplish, and, um.

The, the history and brief of, of my adult life, um, I lost my husband quite young at 33. He was 36 and he had a tumor at the base of his throat, so he died pretty quickly. It was very. Shocking and surprising. And we were living in France at the time. Um, so that was definitely a big trauma in my life.

Shortly thereafter, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, um, still living in Europe, and that was extremely traumatic, obviously, for anyone, but especially since I had just seen my husband die, I. Could not take the same treatments. I couldn’t take the chemo and the radiation and just be in the same apartment that I just watched my partner die in.

So I did do the mastectomy and I opted for tons of other natural things. So I refused the chemo and the radiation despite the, the menacing. Ideas of the doctors that I was committing suicide and all of these things because I just, I firmly believe if we don’t believe that a medication or something will work for us, it’s not going to work for us.

And it just did not resonate in my body to put all these poisons in when I was trying to heal. So I took about a year to two off of life and did anything and everything from a health perspective, vegan, raw, growing my um, wheat grass, doing morning meditations. I. Lived above a yoga studio, was doing meditation and mantras for cancer patients.

So I just, I really dedicated my life to that, that healing journey. And I did get better and I was better. And the minute that I get back into it, like regular life, I’ll call it…

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[Continued in next message—beginning with the return to “regular life” and second diagnosis]

Continuing from where we left off, here is the next section of the formatted transcript:

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Recurring Diagnosis and Reflection

…and start just kind of doing some, some of the things that we do in life, like drinking coffee and, you know, being stressed at my job and all of those other things that come into life.

I was diagnosed a second time with breast cancer, the exact same spot, left side, very close to my heart, right over my heart.
So that was in 2020. 2020 was an extremely volatile year for the entire world and for all of us as a species, I think. Um, so 2020, I said to myself, this is presenting itself on my path again for a reason.

This time it’s more advanced, even though it’s in the exact same spot. What do I need to learn from this? The chemo is back to being presented again. Maybe I need to go on this journey of going through the chemo and the radiation. Which I did. I did compliment it with tons of other alternative things. I did both things simultaneously, but I just felt somehow in my soul, this chemo just came up again for some reason, for something for me to experience or learn or do.

I did it and it was the hardest, worst thing, worse than I could have ever imagined, but I did do it. I did a yoga teacher certification during the chemo to keep me grounded in rhythm, connected to community. Um, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I felt like I was floating between two worlds, Brandy.

I got through it. My body was really emaciated and weak, and I don’t feel like I will ever be the same person. But I feel like that’s a good thing. I feel like chemo broke me open in a good way. Like it was obviously hard and painful and terrible in all of its ways, but it, it gave me some other sort of gifts in life.

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Brandy’s Insight on Subconscious Associations

Okay. Can I make a suggestion?
Please make,
Instead of saying chemo gave you gifts or it broke you open—who, what you did during that time.
Because… yeah, so the way you processed it, because in other words, if you link it up in your mind that chemo is a type of gift, your mind will want it again. So just FYI.

Thank you.
It’s kinda like a cutter who cuts themselves, links it up to relief or euphoria.
Thank you. Or, yes, so absolutely. So, so what you did during that time, the way you said, okay, I’m gonna do this…
So I would say that you said, I’m going to be grounded. I’m going to go through yoga. I would say you championed it and that’s what changed you.

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Melissa’s Continued Journey and Thyroid Cancer Diagnosis

So, yes. The way that I moved through it was something that, that really I, I allowed myself to develop these other senses and develop these other sensitivities to energy and the world around me and feeling my way through things and my intuition. And then trying to go back into regular life again and do those normal sort of things, like get a job and, you know, balance my eating and my stress.

Um, I was then diagnosed in 2023 with thyroid cancer. And I feel like it’s, you know, I’m on this healing path and I do, I do all the things and I embrace all the things and I’m trying and I’m trying and I get there and just when I’m ready to like jump back into the world and live my life and. Move and get a new job and get back into life.

There’s this cancer thing that keeps trying to pull me back. So in 2023, I removed the right side of my thyroid. That was the side that was infected. I left the left because I did not want to do anything with the left. It was fine. Since then, there have been some concerning nodules on the left hand side, um, that we biopsied once.

And the biopsy was inconclusive. I was avoiding that biopsy to repeat the biopsy for another year. And just working with that inconclusive and working with an integrative oncologist and um, just lots of different healing teams to just focus on health.
Okay.
Alright.

And the recent biopsy did come back with it being benign. So we’re, we’re in great shape with that.
Um, my thyroid levels are leaning towards hypothyroidism. I just feel exhausted and I don’t know what, if it’s come, what part of it might be coming from menopause? What part of it’s coming from emotional exhaustion, of just dealing with, with all of this. Um, or if there’s…

You know, if I need to be on some kind of thyroid medication, um, that’s, that’s where I am now. And I’m just, I mean, I feel good. I feel happy, I feel centered. I just feel exhausted and I feel like I don’t know what’s next for me in life. And that, that does evoke some tears in me and some, a bit of a bit of sadness because I, I feel so desperately trying to get to what’s next and.

Despite my efforts, like I, I just don’t know what’s next and how to move forward. Does that make sense?
It does. It does. Absolutely.

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Brandy Checks Energy and Shares Initial Insights

Alright. So first and foremost, I love your perseverance and your, your desire to just go, okay, look, I’m gonna rise above this. So I, I hear you. And, and gimme one second, because I was very much listening into you that I was, um, hearing you, that I wasn’t checking energy as much while listening.

Um, and so gimme one second. I just wanna check into your energy. Um, bingo.

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Brandy’s Commentary: Common Healing Pattern

Alright, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, again, I just love her. I love her self-awareness. I love her self honesty. Just beautiful. Now, there are three really important insights that I wanna share with you. You know, first and foremost that I did this in my own life. I could meditate and get my pain down, and then reality hit and my pain would go back up.

And that’s what I see people do all of the time, is they’ll have triggers, you know, maybe they can meditate and calm the mind and whatnot, but then there’s still triggers and subconscious programming that then gets triggered and, and what can happen is the mind can want to check out even more.

In fact, if we make this all very simple, you may have heard before that on a simple note that our minds want to go towards pleasure and away from pain naturally. Now, of course, they can be very misfired, which is what we’re gonna be talking about coming up. But what can happen all of the time is exactly this with meditation — is the mind can feel happier to just check out.

It’s like instead of going into life, the mind can start feeling happier to just check out. And then life becomes less appealing and less appealing, or even more and more and more fearful, in which case meditation can completely backfire and create more and more fear towards life.

And so just food for thought as you’re working with your mind — that ultimately what you wanna make sure to do is fall in love with life and feel better and better about life.

In fact, this is actually a really brilliant divine timing because I just had a person who’s going through my video course send in her PET scan results just yesterday, and what I love about this, first and foremost, she’s brilliant and beautiful, and her cancer has shrunk. Hugely. Her doctors are impressed and amazed, and she’s so excited and they didn’t think it was possible. So I love that.

But my point is also, so she’s, she’s not, it’s not gone yet, but she’s in process. But my point in sharing hers — because I’ve seen people heal themselves from all kinds of things, cancer included — but in this woman’s email that she sent in, she also said that she’s excited that there’s job opportunities that are coming up for her and that she’s really excited about opportunities opening up in life.

And that’s my point, is that when we really heal towards life and what we’re wanting to heal — that’s when we create the change. So in her case, her doctors didn’t give her much hope. It was not a good situation, and now her doctors are shocked and asking what she’s doing. So that is really what you want to do. That’s when real healing takes place, so it doesn’t keep coming back and continue to feel triggered — is when you create that transformation.

So just food for thought on that as we look at the bigger picture and as we go throughout this, because you’re gonna notice there’s more and more counterintuitive mind programming. And also you’re gonna notice just insights about wanting to check out of life versus feeling safe in life. So that is part of where we’re going now.

The other insight that I wanna provide really quick is this, is that you also want to make sure not to link up chemotherapy or the problem as a gift. And you hear me say that all of the time, and the reason that I say it more and more and more is because more and more people are doing it.

They’re linking it up like just like she just did. Oh, it was such a gift going through chemotherapy. No, delete, delete, delete. The fact that she changed was a gift. So that’s what we always want to do — is change. Transformation is a gift or, uh, you know, whatever it is in a positive way. So it, the positive is the gift.

Like if we said the gift and we link it up to crisis or hardship or chemotherapy or hospice or trauma or bad things happening, your brain links that together. And that gets programmed into your mind.

And a way to think about it is like this — the emotions that somebody feels towards a gift is a feeling of excitement, is a feeling towards wanting. It is a feeling towards, oh, I can’t wait to open up a gift. As a child, you know, you feel like, oh, there’s presents, there’s a gift.

And so what happens if somebody links up chemotherapy or trauma or crisis is a gift? It literally links it up in their mind. I can’t wait to have that. You won’t want to link up things like that in your mind, and so keep that in mind because a couple reasons.

First and foremost, more and more people are doing that or even creating acronyms that seem cute and harmless, and yet link up the mind to something very negative. And as we dive back in, you’ll notice just how counterintuitive the mind can be and how detrimental it can actually be for your mindset and your happiness and your health and your life.

And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Melissa.

Here we go.

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Identifying Patterns of Punishment and Guilt

Okay, so the first thing I came into your energy, the first thing it said is it said I need to be punished. Okay. Uh, do you know why that is?
I think in the past. Guilt has worked for me. It has worked to whip me into shape and it’s probably definitely coming from my childhood and my, you know, upbringing and religious background.
Bingo. Bingo. Yeah. Okay. Um, bingo. And that’s a big, so upbringing. Yes. Religious background also strikes very, very high as well. Um, now, um, bingo.

Now you and your husband were married, correct?
Correct.
Okay. And uh, bingo. And the reason I’m asking is ’cause even in that, so I was checking that energy and it again, it’s a feeling of feeling like you did something quote unquote bad. And I’m not saying you did, right? I’m saying your energy is saying like you are feeling like you did.
Um. And, uh, gimme one second. Bingo.
Okay. Did, where did you move from? Did you didn’t start out in Europe, is that correct?
Correct. I’m originally from New Orleans. I’ve lived all over the world. Um, I was married with my husband in Paris, so I lived the majority of the time in France for about 15 years. I also learned…
Okay. Can you, real quick?
Yeah.
Okay. Uh, can you gimme your mom’s first initial please?
Bingo. Bingo.
Okay. And there’s a feeling towards like, of shame towards her. Do you know why that is?
No. Of shame. Hmm mm-hmm. It’s like guilt. Uh, if I ask you how much part of you feels like you abandoned her, what would you say?
Wow. That’s never, that’s never occurred to me that I, I’ve abandoned her. Um, I think the, over the, somewhere the subconscious feeling is because I left America in my home so young. I think that they met, that might be their feeling that I abandoned them. Um.
Okay. There’s some residual of that maybe coming from, from their side, but I, it’s never really felt like something I’ve suffered with or I’m just not aware of it.

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Uncovering Early Childhood Patterns

Okay. And so, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Gimme one second. There’s a couple that, that, that. Bingo. Okay, so let’s go here first. Bingo.
There’s a strong feeling, a pattern that actually comes in at age six. Okay.
Which is a young age for it to be at, but it, it’s like a feeling of feeling like life is too much.
Um, are you familiar with that? At age six. At age six, life is too much,
Huh?

Um, it’s like a feeling of wanting to, um, uh, escape reality. Escape life.
Would it be because I didn’t feel safe at home or felt trauma at school or just not feeling. Safe and feeling like I have a lot of responsibility or too much responsibility.
Gimme one second. Um, bingo. It’s definitely a strong feeling of unsafe. Now let me just collect a little data real quick. Gimme one second. So let me look. Okay, so bingo.

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Identifying Relationship-Related Guilt and Emotional Patterns

Okay. If I go in a more succinct way, um, if, let me, let me start here. Okay. So, um, when I asked. Uh, can you give me your, um, your late husband’s first initial please?
A
Okay, so it’s somebody else. And are you remarried?
I was remarried and divorced. R.
Bingo. Okay. That, okay. So, uh, so there’s a feeling of a lot of guilt. Yes. That’s, uh, that, so, so this is what I did when I said, let me just go succinct real quick. And remember when I first came into your energy and I said, it says I need to be punished. Okay. Uh, and not that you do need to. But it’s towards that relationship.

That’s why I was like, are you, were you guys married? Because, but it was that, that marriage right there, there’s a lot of guilt and punishment towards, do you know why
That — yes. It, well, when we got separated, it was when I, I was going through chemo and it was all my doing, so I asked him to leave. I was not okay. Um, it was a pretty. Abrupt sort of way to end a relationship. And he has never wanted to speak with me since.
Okay. Even after I got better. There’s never, it’s, I’m just shut out now.

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Family Dynamics and the Pattern of Abandonment

Okay. So, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. And do you also have, um, I can’t tell if it’s your mom or a sister, but it feels like a sister. Could you have a sister?
I have two sisters.
Initial m. Can you say one M1 and M2?
Yes. M1 and M2.
Bingo. Okay, so go with M2.
Oh yes, M2 is a big problem.
Bingo. Okay, there you go. Okay. So M2, uh, that is the pattern connected to, uh, connected to the the cancer energy. Okay. Um, so you see what I’m talking about? Right?
Okay.

Let’s go this way. So you mentioned you can see that M2 is a big problem energy in your life, right?
Yes.
So if I ask you why, why, let’s unpack that a little bit more for me.
I would love to unpack that. It’s something that I really don’t understand. Um, we, we don’t speak at all and it definitely feels like an an emotionally unsafe person for me to be around and I. I imagine it’s because of her own hurt and not being able to express it, but I don’t know how to fix it.
Okay. I tried to fix it and I, I don’t know what else I can do with it.

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Brandy Connects the Abandonment Pattern Across Multiple Relationships

Okay, so what I want you to notice is this. Is notice with her there is a, an abandonment type feeling that I can’t, she won’t speak to you. And there’s that. Right. And notice also with your, our husband.
Yes.
There’s that same pattern, the abandonment pattern. And he won’t speak to you.

Yes.
But also with the late husband as well, there’s a feeling of he won’t initially like that feeling of loss. Of abandoned.
Okay.
And so, um, so there’s an abandonment. There was even a feeling of feeling kind of mad at him for dying. Um, if you’re familiar with that, can you see that?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes.
Angry. He was supposed to live. Where was he thinking?
And then I was left all by myself to deal with everything.
Yes, yes. I can see that exactly. And I was, I was quite young, so yeah.
Bingo. Okay, so the resentment and the anger, and also the fear of being left, quote unquote by yourself.
Okay.
Okay. So left by yourself when I said life is not safe, left by yourself, like the feeling of life is too much left by yourself is actually age six. So that’s the pattern of feeling, uh, left by yourself.

Okay. But, but that feeling of feeling like I’m trying to, somebody won’t talk to me and it’s not fair, and, and, and then I, but then I, but there’s that victim of being shut out.
Yes.
Okay. That resonates. Um,

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Friendship, Diagnosis Pattern, and Subconscious Programming

Bingo. So, um, there feels like there’s also a friend who did the same type of thing. Do you know who that is?
Um, I, I know that it’s like
19, maybe it starts with a p.
Bingo.
Yes.
Bingo. Wow. You’re good, Brandy.
Thank you my dear.

So. So notice there’s an abandonment and a resentment each time before the diagnosis. Right? So then there was the, so basically there was the husband and then you got diagnosed and then, but it’s the same pattern as a sister. And then there’s the P person also, and then there’s the diagnosis there, and then there’s the R person, and then there was another diagnosis.

So that’s, it’s that feeling of spinning in turmoil after it happens.
Yes. You can see that, right?
Yes.
And then there’s a feeling. Bingo. So if I said to somebody, and I don’t wanna wanna say those words, but delete. Delete. But here we go. Um, like if I said to somebody, you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone. Okay. You know those words. Right,
Right, right, right, right. I’ve been, I’ve been told those words, so I, I get it. And I’ve, I’m sure I’ve thought those words too. You don’t know how much you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.
Right. Bingo.

So notice that you’re linking up. When you are gone, you’re gonna get love. Does that make sense?
Huh.
So watch this. So I said you’re gonna be mad at me when I’m gone. That means you’re gonna be mad at me when I’m gone. But if I say you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone, now I’m LinkedIn up, all I have to do is die and now you’re gonna love me.
That’s true. Wow.
Okay. So you’re, yeah.

So then that’s the part of you that wants to be on the verge of, I’m gonna die because it comes up. You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone. You’re gonna regret it. Yeah. You’re gonna, so that part wants to be like, yes, so, so when they won’t talk to you, there’s a part of you that’s spinning and it’s like, well then fine. I’m gonna almost be gone and what’s gonna happen now,
I’ll show you.
Exactly. Bingo. Right, right, right, right.

Recognizing Self-Punishment and Relationship Guilt

So, uh, I love your awareness. I love your self-awareness. Beautiful. All right. By the way, bingo. Can you see how you already felt even before the cancer diagnosis with R, when you were with R? If I ask you to notice the part of you who felt like he would shut you out or even ignore you, can you see that?
I can stand it in different words. If you, if you don’t,
Please, please say it in…
Okay. If I ask you, um, bingo. When he got upset with you, how did it feel to you?
Shut out.
So I see what you’re saying. Yes. Bingo. So it’s that same trigger of you’re gonna, you’re gonna miss, you’re gonna re, you’re gonna. Bingo.

So, and it tends to be this behavior with people, and my first husband had as well, is when they’re upset with me, they shut down. My father has this behavior with me as well, so when they’re upset with me, they don’t wanna speak with me. They don’t wanna see me. There’s this automatic shut out of your, my vision and my life.

Exactly. And you’re like, well, wait a second, I’m gonna die and then I’m gonna get you back. I’m gonna, you’re gonna. So it links up love.
Just like in the very beginning when we talked about, when you said chemo is all the, and I’m like, careful what you link up with chemo.
Exactly.
And exactly. Now we’re talking about you are gonna miss me when I’m gone is basically like, Ooh, you’re gonna love me so much and all I have to do is die and you’re gonna love me.
Right?
Careful.
Right.
Okay. So I love your awareness. Okay. Now the other thing is.

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Brandy Commentary: The Misfired Mind and Meditation Escapism

All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first, again, I just love her. I love her self-awareness, I love her self honesty, just brilliance and beautiful. And also, I love the insight from this because all of the time you hear me talk about the mind and how it gets misfired.

The misfired mind is huge for healing. It is so important and it’s so tricky and, you know, again, the example that you hear me use all the time is a cutter. You know, somebody who unfortunately, who’s been through trauma, a cutter may cut themselves and feel relief or euphoria or control or safety from cutting themselves, and it makes no logical sense.

And yet that can get wired in the mind. Or even somebody who’s addicted to heroin and and killing themselves may get it linked up — that drugs are really cool in their subconscious mind, and so they have a hard time not doing them because there’s so much subconscious programming that’s linked up that’s simultaneously killing them and controlling their lives and their behavior, even though the conscious mind may know better.

That’s also the importance of really rewiring the subconscious mind and, and making sure that whatever we get in our minds, we program in at an even deeper level. And so that of course, is key.

Now also what you’ll notice is that meditation has, unfortunately, had positive effects and also negative effects because as we step in, you’ll notice how there’s a part of her who’s just wanted to really more and more have that feeling of wanting to escape from life, which the ultimate escape from life is what — is not being alive.

And so it’s just, it’s very linked up at a deeper level, and so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Melissa.

Here we go,

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Shifting Out of Guilt and Letting Go of Punishment

Is that, remember if we go back to the center of punishment, so remember there’s a part of you who is punishing yourself now because you. So notice with R you feel like, um, like you shut him out and you wronged him, um, and, uh, bingo. And it, and it probably wasn’t so nice how you did it, right?
No, it wasn’t nice. No.
Okay. Can you let that go though?
I, I feel like I, I’m, I don’t know what else to do to…
So wait a second. Wait, a wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don’t, don’t spiral into there. Uh, so it was in 2020 you were diagnosed, right? And that’s, is that when you separated from him or 2021 or?
Okay, so I mean, so you’ve only been punishing yourself for five years.
Maybe it’s like another five years. You think,

No, let’s fix… It’s like when you were growing up and you get grounded for a week, you’re like, how about five years?
No, we’re, we’re, we’re doing this right now. We’re getting rid of this now that
News wise. That seems like I, I like the way you think. That’s a, that’s a good plan.
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.

Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and, uh, bingo. And you apologized to him, correct?
Yes. Many times.
Done. Okay. Done, done, done. Because on top of this, remember it is your pattern.
Okay.
Yes. Now, the other thing is, is that, so if I check your body and if I ask you, do you really wanna heal all the way, the answer comes back and it says no. Now this is why. Okay?
Okay.

You have it linked up. Watch this. You said after you get diagnosed the first time, you took a two year break from life. Did you notice? You said that — do I want a two year break from life?
No,
I get, I’d like to keep my connection with life.
Right, right.
I see what you’re said. Okay. I avoided responsibilities for two years or, okay. But notice how you have it linked up. You literally say, every time I go back to life and trying to live life, and then you associate then know there’s all the stresses and the coffee and the this and the that. Like is there, is that how you’re ing?

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Redefining Life, Work, and the Link to Illness

I see your point. So it’s just what I’ve been conditioned and what I’ve been thinking is the life I’m supposed to lead, like, you know, the different jobs that I have and the responsibilities. Perhaps it’s just not, that’s not the road for what’s next, and that’s why…
Well, not only that, but this is the thing. Like even I love what I do, but even when I worked in network engineering operations, I loved it too.

So my point is, and, and I work with a lot of people who love what they do, who have a business that they’re passionate about. And so what I would say is, is that linking that up…
And by the way, I have people who were off of work for 10 years, 20 years on disability, who are now back to work and are going, who would’ve thought that I love work, that I love doing. I feel good. I feel relevant. I feel like I’m contributing. I feel important.
Like important. Like it’s so much better than doing nothing all day. And, and it’s like, yeah. They’re like, I get to do things. And, and it is just, it’s good. So the thing of it is, is exactly, so you have it linked up that life is gonna be stressful, you are gonna be drinking a bunch of coffee, and I didn’t know that was even a requirement.

Stress Brandy.
Okay. Okay. I didn’t get the memo.

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The Emotional Metabolism and the Thyroid

So it’s, it’s also the way that I’m metabolizing the stress.
Okay. What you really just said is it’s the emotions that get triggered inside of me that I haven’t let go of. ‘Cause you don’t have to metabolize it. You know, thyroid, uh, connects to metabolism.
Right?
Okay. So it is the way you’re metabolizing it emotionally. Okay. Yes.
But…
Yeah, but, but the way you feel about it, I mean, some people, if you think about it, some people feel like relationships are really combative and they have very combative relationships. And some people feel relationships are very harmonious, and that’s what they have.

And so look at your relationship with life and, and, and there’s that. But the other thing is, is this is… So if I take the example of a cutter who cuts themselves, right? Somebody who cuts themselves and they link up euphoria and relief and safety to cutting themselves, then that’s linked up, right?
So you have a bunch of love linked up to being gone.

Okay, so now imagine for a moment if part of your brain wants to be gone and then the other part of it doesn’t. Like, it creates a, a big, like, and if you have it linked up, I’m gonna just get so much love, all I have to do is be gone. Delete, delete, delete. Right? Bad, bad link. Does that make sense?
Makes sense. Makes a lot of sense.
I love, I love your awareness. I love your awareness. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

So in other words, by the way, now, let’s say for a moment, let’s say part of my brain wanted to jump off a cliff and the other part of it did not. How safe do you think I would feel inside?
Not very safe.
Not very safe. So you’re not going to feel safe towards life until you link up love in life.
Does that make sense?

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The Importance of Wanting Love in Life

But this pattern of feeling shut out and then stewing and all alone and like nobody’s there, and then that stewing, um, is, uh, is, is that, that that pattern is the issue now. Uh, can you gimme your father’s first initial please?
Okay.
And can you give me, uh, can you say M2 again please?
M2
Bingo. Okay. So, uh, that’s where the link started. Uh, is that, is, uh, that’s where the pattern started. Uh, so gimme one second.
Sure.
Bingo. Alright. So, bingo. So if I ask you zero to 10…

That. Okay, so there’s. Another issue.
She might complicated Brandy.
No, I was actually not, not at all, uh, not more than any other person is. Our minds get so misfired. Actually, my, my hesitancy was one, I always try to not overwhelm people. Uh, that’s… so I’m like, okay, there’s this pattern, but it’s, it’s always a combination. I mean, let’s be honest, if anger made everybody sick, then everybody ever had anger would be sick.

And so there’s always the combination. Um, and so bingo. And also the other thing is, is this is, I feel like, um. Through meditation or check, it’s like a checking out, like a mental checking out. I feel like you are learning to love life less and less and less.
Uh, so it’s like, um, in other words, okay, let’s put it this way. If I ask you how much you feel like you could be really present in a relationship, what would you say?

Hmm. Right now, no. And I’m, I don’t feel like I’m looking for a relationship right now.
Yes, exactly. Okay. Now, the only reason I’m asking you about a relationship, and I know that you’re not necessarily looking for one, is that you’ve linked up so much love to, you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone. There needs to be your mind feeling like you can have plenty of love in life.

Okay.
Okay. But notice the part of you that’s kind of been turned off from the idea of love that wants to push everybody away. Can you see that?
Absolutely.
Yes. So the problem is, so when I said it’s like you’re, you’ve checked out from life more now is, is exactly that. So imagine if somebody said, look it, I just don’t want oxygen anymore.

How’s that go?
Yeah, right,
Right. So you have it linked up. I just don’t want love, but think about this. Love is wonderful. So what you really don’t want is hurt.
Yes. Okay.
But you’ve misread that. So you think love means hurt. But love means love. Hurt means hurt. It’s two different things.

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Unwiring Negative Love Patterns

Okay, so how do I get my wire straight?
Okay, so, so that, that, so that’s what I was looking at because notice, okay, so basically that’s where I was going is how do we move this forward? And it would have to be the connection of love in life, but there’s a part of you that doesn’t want love, but because what’s happened is the sub… kind of like this.

Okay, so you’ve heard before, I know this sounds maybe a little complex, but here we go. Uh, you’ve heard before, if a, if a child doesn’t get positive attention, they’ll get what?
Like abandon.
What do you mean he’ll get…
Well, this typically, if a child doesn’t get like positive attention, they might try to act out to get negative attention.
Yes, absolutely.
Okay. Absolutely.

Now, you’ve heard that before, right?
Yes.
So did they each all just text each other and say, Hey, by the way. If your parents aren’t giving you pos… so notice the subconscious mind drives — has certain things that we drive towards whether we want to or not. And that’s why it’s automatic.

It’s not like a little five-year-old Johnny sits down at his desk and says, well, you know, I didn’t get any positive attention. I’m gonna map this out for some negative… like, that’s how it shows up in different ways.
Though it may not seem like it, some people want attention for shutting down, so it, it can be a little tricky, but my point is: We need love and connection, and there’s a big part of you that’s like, I just wanna disconnect and I just wanna be away from people and by myself and definitely.
Right. Definitely.

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Facing the Pattern of Disconnection

It just hasn’t worked out for me to get this love and connection in some of the past things. And I think maybe that’s the subconscious thing is I…
Let’s get it to work out this time and…
Exactly.
But the other thing is, is, okay, so if I mirror this to you and I say in this life, I just don’t want any, I want to be left alone. I don’t want any love and connection with anybody, but by the way, in my subconscious mind, I have it linked up that you’re gonna miss me and love me when I’m gone.

Yeah. Okay.
So the problem is that you’ve got to want it in life to now rewire that. Does that make sense?
Because if not the brain, the subconscious mind, just like a, a child who doesn’t get positive attention, gets negative attention. Your mind says, okay, well you don’t want any love. I know how to, I just need to be gone. Okay?

Uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now if you think about it: love, love, love is wonderful. Pain, not so good. Pain, hurt, all of that. But they’re two different things. They’re two different things.
So if you knew that you could experience more and more and more love and more and more and more love, and more and more and more love — if you knew that…

If you absolutely knew that now, even as I’m saying this to your energy, even your energy’s kind of like…
It is. I can feel it. Brandy, I feel the block there, like as you’re saying, resistance. I wanna go there and my, my, there’s some part of me that’s like trying to protect me.
I totally… yeah, but this is what it says. I love your awareness. It’s like it wants to just go be spiritual. Can you…?

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Escaping Into Spirituality Instead of Life

That, that’s exactly it. That’s why I’m like, I associate all of this like life stuff, uh, you know, of being stressful when I’m like, I just wanna go on a mountain and meditate and be left alone and be spiritual and not in this stress stuff.
Yeah, totally get what you’re saying.

Exactly. Okay. So, and by the way, I see this all of the time where people go through meditation and they just wanna check out and then they, they end up, it’s ruining relationships and connections and like all kinds of things because they just wanna check out. And that’s why I say, you know what, this is what happens though.

Imagine if I said, I just wanna go meditate on a mountain and be by myself and be spiritual.
Yeah.
Or if I said I wanna fall in love with life and have life fall in love with me and have love and connection and sweetness and fun and feel alive.

Like if you think about it, imagine a 10-year-old who says, I can’t wait to grow up. Then just meditate on a mountain.
Right.

Or if a 10-year-old says, look, I wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna go do this, I wanna go, I wanna enjoy. I wanna have love and passion and connection. So the thing of it is you’ve gotta get yourself to want life, because even what you’re saying is this: I want life… but from a mountaintop where I don’t have to connect with life.

Where it feels safe.
Yeah. There’s this huge safety issue of a, you know, wanting to jump off and step into the unknown and, you know, kind of stumbling so many times that now I’m like, well, maybe we don’t need to jump off in the unknown and we can just go sit on that mountain and be safe.

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Brandy’s Closing Message and Invitation to Reflect

All right, so let’s go ahead and actually pause the session right here, just because this information is so powerful in so many ways, and I wanna just simplify it to one specific thing that you could start looking at in your life. And it’s this — it’s falling more and more in love with life.

Because so often people can get linked up that life is scary or it’s not safe or it’s hard or it’s a struggle. And of course the more you feel that way, the more life reflects that to you. Unfortunately. And patterns breed more of the same.

And I was there, you know, with my own injury where I just felt like the struggle and the heaviness and I was, you know, stuck in it. I really had to change. I really had to start falling in love with life and shifting my energy in a big way towards life.

And you know, all of the time people might think, well, Brandy, of course you’re so happy you got your life back. And I would say, no, I got my life back — and even better. Because I changed on the inside. I rewired my mind to get out of the stuckness and out of the negative patterns and really followed through to change and transform all of the way, and started understanding how the mind can be so misfired in the subconscious mind and just the depth of creating that real change.

Because I had been doing many of the same things as she was doing — you know, meditating and wanting to check out and meditating and, you know, and life feeling painful and fearful and, and, you know, getting stuck in that spiral. And that’s what made me really say, how do I go beyond meditation? What do I actually need to do instead?

And so that’s what made me really start looking at the mind and wanting to understand it because I could see some results, and I could see evidence of the power of the mind everywhere, but it wasn’t working. And so I really had to understand at a deeper level how to get results. And that real, real, real change is key.

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Final Encouragement and Call to Action

And so again, that’s what I love about this episode — is you can see that awareness, that real change is key in mind, work in in life to really get a different result. So just really powerful.

And so on that note, that’s what I wanna invite you to do — just take a moment. And start to even list some of the things that you love about life to start working on falling back in love with life.

And if you are somebody who has been struggling and really wants a deeper, deeper understanding, of course I have a free training on my website, so you can go there or a video course, you can go there.
It’s powerful. It walks you through step by step, the process.

And of course, as far as Melissa, our beautiful volunteer — on next week’s episode, we are going to be going deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole and looking at the real change that’s needed at a deeper level, because there are additional insights that can be very powerful, and so that’s where we’re going next week.

And until then, I wanna ask you — please do take a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know. Because the more that every single person in our world feels happy, and healthy, and loved, and loving and empowered — the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, incredible, happy, healthy rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

We’ll see you there.

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Podcast Outro Message

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness — of how amazing we all really are.

If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better.

That is the point and the power of these demonstrations — to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.
And of course each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible.

And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You’ll wanna remember that there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize.

That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at BrandyGillmore.com/podcast.
And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, please remember — if you do have any health issues, you won’t want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you’ll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind.

Thank you.