Introduction
Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life.
My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.
Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.
Let’s begin.
Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.
Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themself of physical pain using only their mind, and then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use. To master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health yourself and your life.
Let’s begin.
Hello and happy beautiful day to you. Today’s episode is just divine timing and you’ll see why that is as we dive in, but I could not have planned this more perfect as far as the order and the, what I mean by that is this, is that on the last IQ episode I talked about the importance of really rewiring the mind in a different way.
And that all of the time I’ll see people who reach out, who say, you know, they tried this method or that method or whatever it was, and they started seeing improvements and then the issue comes back for some reason and, and basically that’s exactly what’s happening with our volunteer. In her case, she went into remission.
And then everything came back but worse. And so that’s what she’s experiencing now. And that’s the thing is in, in my own life, by the way, that same thing I had been doing, the positive thinking, the affirmations, the meditation, all of the positive things. And I could see improvement, and then it would come back and it didn’t stay gone.
And my body wasn’t healing itself. It was just going through the ups and downs and whatnot. And so, so often I see that, and again, that’s why this is just brilliant timing. I didn’t plan this on purpose, but it just unfolded this way. And it’s just, it’s so clarifying because. On the last IQ episode, I explained that I see this all of the time because I’ll have people who are reaching out, who are emailing in messaging, in social media, all of that saying, you know, that’s, they experienced this very thing, and then now we have a volunteer where you can actually see that at a deeper level.
And so it’s just really profound. You can see the awareness and also the deeper level of programming that is needed to really create that change. So I love that. And I also absolutely love our volunteer. Her name is Anna. And you’re, you’re going to love her, her self-awareness and her heart. You’re just, you’re absolutely going to love her.
She’s beautiful, she’s brilliant. And also she’s so determined to heal, and yet. Is struggling against her own mind and so, which at a deeper level. So it can be tricky. And so that’s where we’re going as we step in with our beautiful volunteer, Anna, here we go.
Hi. Hi. How are you? I’m good. I love that. I love that. It’s beautiful to connect with you. And what can I help you with today, my dear? Well, um, uh, I live in constant pain. Okay. Really bad plan. I don’t recommend that to anybody. Been there, done that. And from experience, I’d say it’s, it’s just not a good idea.
Yeah, I know. Um, I was diagnosed with, uh, rheumatoid arthritis in 2020. And later I got psoriatic arthritis also, and, uh, psoriasis in my skin. Okay. And, um, well, I had medical, um, a medication, but I got severe side effects. And at some point, um, uh, I was in remission, everything was okay, but suddenly my condition went worse.
Uh, I got, uh, medical, um, medication, um, again, uh, and I, I survived. Uh, but it wasn’t, I wasn’t okay. And, um. One year and eight, eight months ago, I, um, I gave birth and after that, thank you. Thank you. It was a miracle. Uh, the doctors said, uh, I, I could try, but, uh, so you have your miracle baby? Yeah. Aw. And is it boy or a girl?
Sorry. Boy or girl? Boy, yeah. Very active. Um, I had to send my, my partner and our son to my parents’ house because I needed some, uh, a quiet time. I hear you. If I ask you right now what your current level of pain is, what’s your current level of pain? It’s, it’s nine. Okay. So what, and if I ask you where you feel it the most right now, where is that at?
Uh, it’s, it’s all over my body, but, um, it’s in ankles. Okay. It’s difficult for me to walk. Okay. And, uh, bingo. All right. So gimme one second.
All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love her. I love her sense of humor. I love her heart. She’s just beautiful. The other thing I wanna note is this, is that, you know, you notice that I’m being really silly and playful with her, and it might seem like I’m not taking her situation seriously.
But ultimately what I’m doing is this, is that she is really, really hard on herself, and that’s where we’re going is that there’s a part of her who is really hard, mean critical on herself. The other part. Has been giving will be kind to herself or wanting to give herself love around illness or trying to get better.
And so if I just am really super, super sweet to her, ultimately I’m just gonna continue to link up. I’m gonna link up love to illness. And so it won’t help her because if love is linked up to illness at a subconscious level, is just gonna keep it stuck also. So in other words, I don’t wanna be super direct with her because it could, she’s, you know, got this extreme criticism.
And also if I’m super loving, I’m not gonna help fix the problem. I’m just gonna be on the same neural pathways, the same connection, and it’s gonna create problems. And so if, if it feels like I’m being really ridiculous or silly, I am, and there’s a reason for it. So just using humor and playfulness to really get through to her.
And so my point in sharing this. Is that if you can develop that with yourself and being kind and playful and sweet with yourself, it can help you to create breakthroughs also as you’re working with your own mind. Alright, so that’s part of where we’re going as we step back in with beautiful Anna. Here we go.
Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find a feeling of feeling like you don’t like to be controlled or told what to do, if I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find that feeling, what would you say? Um, about six or seven. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
You know, the feeling, I guess a feeling of feeling like if people are like watching you or looking over your shoulder type of feeling. If I ask you how much that bothers you, what would you say?
Not so much. Okay. And, uh, let put it in a different way. Gimme one second.
Bingo. If I ask you how much you can find a feeling of feeling like, um,
like a insecure or critical of every little thing that you do type of feeling, like a insecurity critical feeling? Yeah. Yeah. I, I feel a lot of insecurity. Okay. So, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe
and so. I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice the feeling of insecurity. So when I first mentioned, I said, you know, like if, if like everybody’s, somebody’s looking over your shoulder or looking what you do, but there’s that feeling of feeling like insecurity of what it, of if people are watching, but the insecurity feeling of the, you get what I’m saying?
That feeling right? Yeah. Okay. Ask you to breathe
and bingo. And I want you to notice also the part of you that be a little bit self-critical. Can you see that part? Yes.
A little. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Okay. And, uh, we could call it maybe self-critical or self brutal, but 1, 1, 1 of the two. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe bingo and uh. Bingo. And why so mean to self? Sorry. What? Why so mean to self? Why I am mean to myself? Yeah. Um, I don’t know. Um, I don’t recommend doing that. I’m just gonna, it’s, it’s, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
What if you actually don’t deserve to be so mean and critical to self that it’s creating this feeling of insecurity that you don’t even deserve. And it doesn’t even make any sense. I, I know there’s, there’s no sense in that. Okay, great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now I want you to notice there’s even this feeling of being so critical of self.
It’s like feeling like you don’t deserve to the point of feeling like you don’t deserve this and you don’t deserve this. Can you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and why on earth would you do that? Now, I want you to notice how old’s your son, uh, one year and eight, eight months.
Okay. And you pretty much expect that he’s never gonna make a mistake, right?
You laugh? What do you mean? You expect that he’s perfect and he is never gonna make a mistake in life, ever. Right? Well, well, he does make no, really? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So now he probably just doesn’t deserve to have a great wife. No. Yes, he deserves Wait, a, he made a mistake, so I’m gonna.
So if he makes a mistake, he still deserves to have a great life. If you make a mistake, you deserve to be ridiculed, feel bad for it, and not deserving. Those are some double standards. Yeah, it’s weird, right? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and no. Notice your husband, he’s never made a mistake, right? Oh, no, never.
Never, never. Not once, but if he did, he pretty much would deserve to not live. You know what I mean? And not deserve great things in life. Right?
He should probably feel really hyper insecure, critical, right? No. Only people who have made a mistake. I mean, most people in life are perfect. Yeah, I’m perfect. I have never made a mistake.
So funny. Go home and ask you to breathe. Bingo. Level of pain in your ankle, zero to 10. What’s your level?
I think it’s, it’s a bit the same. I don’t know. My feets have, uh, when I, I sit right now, so my feet have got some rest. So it’s, it’s, the pain is not so bad. Okay. And what’s your level of pain right now? Zero to 10. I think it’s eight, I guess. Okay.
And that’s why I would’ve said seven then. Bingo. Okay. Now I want you to notice, uh, in the past you feel like there’s a big mistake you made. Can you see that? Well, I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Okay. So if I ask you to notice. Um, let’s see. Bingo. It’s like 2016. There’s a feeling of feeling like you made a big mistake.
Um,
I didn’t know, but most people have never made big mistakes in their life.
I know I’ve made lots of them, but, uh, I don’t know. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe
and outta curiosity. Um, that bingo. Um, I’m gonna, there’s a feeling of even like, if I ask you how much you feel like you’re a great mother, what would you say? I don’t know. Uh, right now I think I’m not so good. Mother. Mother. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. It’s because you don’t really love your son, right?
It’s not that. Oh. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So what you’re saying is you’re criticizing yourself for every little thing. Yeah. Oh. How’s that going for you? That’s well. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
So you’re not a great mother, really? You’re not a great mother. Well, I try, I try to be a good mother. Okay, but you usually beat your child like how many times a week would you say? No. Okay, good. I like it. I like it. So, um, you just, okay, you leave your kid at the grocery store how many times a week? Oh my God, never.
Okay. You okay? You make him go without food How many times a week? Never zero. Okay. You’re saying you’re a bad mom and I’m trying to get to the root of this not good mom thing. So what is it that you’re doing? You just dump him on his skin five times a week? Uh, I mean, that I’m not, um, well, because of the pain, I’m not able to do the things I would like to do with my son.
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So that classifies you as a not a good mother. Yeah, it’s because I had Oh, oh. So what you’re saying is, is anybody who’s feeling pain, who’s not able to then do all the things they wanna do, they’re just a bad parent. No, I, oh, just you or the bad parent. And then other people are aren’t.
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. You’re starting to see how ridiculous this sounds, right? Yeah, I know. Okay, great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe
and I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Gimme one second.
Gimme one second.
Bingo.
Bingo. Okay, so there’s this feeling of feeling like even before your son, if I ask you how many the, how much you had this feeling of feeling like, I’m not doing this right, I’m not doing this right, I’m not doing this right. Zero to 10, what would you say? 10. Mm-hmm. Especially work. Bingo. Mm-hmm. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to picture your son.
And for the next, like two weeks, anytime he goes to do something, I want you go. Mm. Not doing it right. Mm. Not doing it right. Mm. Not doing it right. Mm. Not doing it right. Mm. Not doing it right. How do you think he’s gonna feel? Awful. Awful. Like it’s painful to move. Yeah. Or painful to do anything. Yeah. Ah, you don’t feel like it’s painful to do anything.
Right. Oh, so you to breathe. And how could it be joyous to do something? How could it be joyous to do things? Joyous to do things? Bingo. And, uh,
bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you why you even felt so critical of yourself at work, why would you say that is? Well, um, um, as a teacher, I get a lot of criticism from my, from the parents, the colleagues, and like. It feels like I, I don’t do enough. And it, and, well, I do get a good, um, feedback, but, you know, the negative is stronger.
Okay, so I have a question. Yeah.
None of the parents really liked you, right?
I, I know they, they, they do like me. Oh, oh, oh. But most of them hate you, right?
No. So, is the negative stronger, or does it feel stronger inside your head? It, it feels stronger in my head. Oh. Oh. It feels like I have this. Nagging little creature sitting on my shoulder that says, you’re not good. You’re, you’re awful. You did this wrong. This is not right. Yeah. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you nagging to me, and I get, I get it silent.
Yeah. So I want you to notice, though, let’s go back to how all the par parents don’t like you. Right?
Right. Sorry. Let’s go back to how all of the parents don’t like you. Right? Yeah. They all don’t like you, right? No. No. They, they do like me. They what? They just have, we just, they what? They, what they, they do like me. Okay. And none of the kids like you? Oh, they do like me. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. So are you a hundred percent sure your pers.
Is right. I don’t know. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. That’s interesting, right? Yeah. Interesting. It’s interesting. I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Bingo. I want you to picture your son grows up. Yeah. And he is in fourth grade and he gets 95% of the test. Right. 5% wrong. And he is devastated about the 5%. How do you feel about that? Well, I think it’s, it’s, um, it’s not a big deal, like, um, because I’m a special education teacher. Okay. But wait a second. So in his case, we’re making this about your son.
Yeah. So with your son, if he gets 95% right, 5% are not Right. How’d he do? I, I think I, I would say to him, him that the test went well, I guess. Oh, okay. Great. So I’ll ask you to breathe
and I’m gonna ask you if you could start acknowledging yourself as well and reprogram your mind to actually feel that and take that in. Does that make sense? Yeah. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe
exactly. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe a hundred percent bingo. Now I want you to think about the special ed you, you do special ed you said, right? Yeah. Okay. And I want you to notice how your goal is to actually fix all of them. Can you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now, can you fix them all? No, I can’t. I can try.
Okay. My best to, okay. So if you can’t fix them all, it’s pretty much your fault, right? No, it’s not. No, it’s not. It’s not. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and when do you get to be nice to yourself? Like when does that start? Just asking right now. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe now. Why would you be nice to yourself?
Because I want to get better now. Notice what you just said. So if I said I get to be nice to myself because I’m ill, if I link up, I’m nice to myself because I’m sick, then what happens if I then get better? Like, what’s another reason you’d be nice to yourself? ’cause it’s wise. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. ’cause it’s why, because you’re, you deserve it.
I deserve it. Oh, okay. Because it’s smart. Because it’s good for your soul, your being, because it’s Correct. Mind programming. Yeah. I guess. Okay, so, so watch this. So let’s say that is bingo. Let’s say that with your son, you’re always hard on him and always hard on him, and always critical of him. Critical of him.
How does that feel for him as he grows up? Awful. Okay. But if you’re, if you’re nice to him, if he’s sick, how does that go? Well, it’s not okay. I have to be nice to him all the time. Oh, oh yeah. You have to be what Nice to him all the time. What about his mom?
Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bing. Great, great, great, great, great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe bingo. I want you to notice your level of pain. Want your level of pain, zero to 10.
I think it’s uh, seven, I guess. Bingo. Bingo. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And now I want you to notice the part of you who is critical of yourself, because you also expect that other people are going to be critical of you. Can you see that? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So I want you to notice the part of you, there’s a feeling like if I ask you how sensitive you are to feedback, what would you say?
Very sensitive. Very sensitive. Yeah. Yeah. So imagine, imagine if I told you I am very sensitive to feedback. So now I feel like people are gonna give me feedback, and I’m very sensitive to feedback. So I better hurry up and criticize myself before anybody else can criticize. Yeah, I know that you see it.
Yeah. Okay, now watch this. Now if I say, but I’m sick, so I have to be nice to myself. Did I fix the problem that’s going on? Or am I just creating a bandaid to try a reason to be nice to myself that’s not fixing the problem. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah, you’re right. Okay, so but you see this, right?
You? Yeah, I do. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So, by the way, watch this. So let’s say I’m nice to myself because I’m sick, but I still have this wiring that says I’m very sensitive to people’s feedback. And then I’ve, they criticize me. I feel it. So I have to criticize myself before that. But then I’m nice to myself because of illness.
What happens if the illness goes away? Well, the, there’s still the same problem. Bingo. There’s still the same problem. And now I don’t have a reason to be nice to myself. Yeah. So now I have to keep the illness because that’s the reason to be nice to myself. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
I love your awareness. I love your awareness. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, I just absolutely love her. I love her self-awareness. She’s just, she’s beautiful, she’s brilliant. I love her heart. Beautiful, beautiful being. And I also love just again, her awareness in that she noticed that there’s a part of her, she wants to love herself so she can get better.
Now, think about this for a moment. This is the way you wanna think about it. If somebody is only eating, the only reason they’re eating is because they’re hungry. Okay? When they stop being hungry, they do what? They stop eating, right? So, in other words, anytime we create a link in the mind for doing something for a specific reason, then when that reason is gone, the mind stops doing that.
So some people might feel like, well, I deserve to be loved because I’m ill. And the truth of it is, we all deserve to be loved because we’re beings, we’re spiritual, amazing, incredible beings. And so. Her, she needs to really do this. She really needs to rewire her mind to love herself and be kind to herself just because she’s herself.
Just because that’s why that’s healthy mind programming. You know, healthy Mind programming is to love self, not go into arrogance or superiority or better than everybody. We’re all amazing. But to rewire the mind, so the mind is supportive and kind and loving to self to help you to flourish in life. And so the problem is, is that it’s like, you know, if somebody loves themselves because of illness and then the illness goes away, then they lo lose their reason to love themselves.
And all of the time I’ll see that where people are being kind to themselves for that very reason, they go, okay, well I have to be kind to myself. I have to be loving. I’m gonna get myself a massage. I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do that for myself. And they’ll only do things for themselves if they’re sick.
Or even another example, I’ve seen mothers, you know, who have children and they feel guilty to do anything for themselves. Like if to spend money on themselves, they feel guilty or anything for themselves. And then unless they’re sick, they can’t give that to themselves. Or I’ve even seen people and I’ve worked with, you know, some people in business, a mindset of business and expanding and creating a bigger difference in all areas, you know, with helping with the environment and all kinds of things.
And in a, you know, large, um, scaled things, which is, I feel blessed to be able to do that. And, you know, of course everything comes back to mindset and, and, um, and so I’ll help people do that. And I’ve seen people where they’ve been in their business and the only time they’ll give themselves a break is if they’re sick.
So then the body wants to be sick because it’s the only time they’ll give themselves time off. And other than that, they’re go, go, go, go, go. And so I’ve seen that as well. So my point is, is if we link up, there’s certain things we can only do if we have illness or if we’re working on healing ourselves.
Then once you heal the, the, it’s gone. And then also the problem is not fixed, the original problem. And so all of the time I’ll see people who do that exact thing. They, they’ve, you know, maybe they did positive thinking on top of it, or meditation on top of it, you know, and whatnot, or affirmations or whatnot.
But they didn’t rewire the mind. And so what you’ll notice with every single person that I work with, I get very specific in the mind, very specific with working with the mind. What is the specific problem or multiple, you know, problems, what are the specific issues? And let’s rewire those. And so you can see in this case, there are specific patterns that she has that really need to be transformed.
And what you’ll see coming up is those problems then end up, they’re patterns. They’re, they’re moving around. And I’ll explain more about what I mean. You’ll see that coming up as we dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Anna. Here we go.
Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So what if I just give you feedback and it’s not so wounding? What if you can take feedback and it’s not so wounding at all, like you’re so secure in yourself? That feedback can just be feedback. It’s not painful, it’s just feedback. That would be amazing. Be amazing, right?
Yeah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So let’s say feedback is just, feedback is just feedback. Now, by the way, I want you to picture your son grows up and he is very wounded by any feedback. How does that feel in life? Not, not, not good? Okay. Now, if I ask you a question, if I ask you, would you say typically the parents were trying to give you criticism or feedback?
Feedback, yeah. How critical were they? If you really stop and think about it? How critical were they? Well, some of them were quite critical, um, but most of them just gave me feedback. And how painful was the feedback? That wasn’t so painful. Okay. So as far as the quote unquote criticism, what was the criticism?
Um, you mean what kind of criticism I got from my work? Like, um, well, I’ve been almost two years at home with my child, so Yeah. But like, um, well, the dishes decisions we made as a group of teachers, so they, the parents were disappointed. Like we wanted the child to, uh, go the class through again, like, I don’t know the right word, double the class or something.
Okay. Like, repeat the class. Repeat the class. Yeah. Uhhuh most cases have been very, very, um, painful for everyone. But, um, I know that there was a good, good point why we did that. Okay. So if I told you as a teacher, I had a kid repeat the class. The parent wasn’t happy, but there was a reason for it. Am I being criticized?
Well, it felt like that I, I’m just saying, am I being criticized? No, you’re not. Oh, I’m not. So the parents having their own emotional reaction to the situation and I’m taking it personally. Yeah. Oh, that was just one kind of example. But I’m gonna ask you to breathe and notice how painful that felt to you in those situations.
Okay. But you know that you did it because you were just trying to be mean to the kid, right? No. You did it because why? Because you felt like it was in the child’s best interest. Yes. Oh. Do you stand behind your decision? Yeah, I do. Okay. Could you have the confidence to stand behind your decision? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe
so you’re safe. Yeah. So criticizing yourself isn’t the answer. No. Yourself isn’t the answer. But standing up for what you believe in is. Yeah. Okay. Doing the right thing is, doesn’t matter what other people think, but doing the right thing is, yeah. Did you do the right thing? Yeah. So what’s your problem, lady?
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Beautiful. Beautiful. And thank you for letting me push and be silly a bit. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe,
and I’m gonna say that again. So what’s your problem, lady? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe so you’re okay. Yeah. I’m okay. You’re, I mean, you’re okay. Yep. You’re, you’re okay. Be secure in yourself. I do. Yeah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe so you could be a hundred percent secure in yourself. Yeah. So you don’t need to beat yourself up now.
No, I don’t need to. Are, are you sure? Yeah. And you don’t need to feel insecure about your decision. No. You could stand behind it and feel confident and like you’re doing the right thing and just have compassion for the parent that might be upset and say, okay, well compassion. But you’re doing the right thing.
Right? Yeah. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I’m gonna ask you to notice what it feels like to feel the sense of confidence in self security and self, and just what would that feel like if that was your life? That would be just amazing. Freedom. Amazing. Yeah. Freedom. Right. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Bingo.
Great. So I want you to notice your level of pain, zero to 10. What’s your level? Mm, I don’t know. I have to stand up because I don’t, um, it’s, it’s still seven. Okay. But there’s, it, a nerve, nerve pain coming. Okay. So, uh, bingo.
And, uh, can you also, can you give me your husband’s first initial please? A bingo. Okay. And if I ask you how much you would say you’re sensitive to him, what would you say? Um, what, what do you mean sensitive to, uh, easily hurt, easily get your feelings hurt. What would you say? Well, yeah,
I’m.
Bingo. And it’s because he is mean, right? No. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and like zero to 10, how mean would you say he is?
Zero. Like a 10. Right?
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe,
and if I ask you to notice how insecure you feel in your connection with him, zero to 10, what would you say?
Eight. Yeah, because he’s probably outta here, right? No. Okay. So why do you feel so insecure in your relationship? Uh, well, uh, we didn’t have that good start. Um, uh, I was more interested in him than he was interested in me first. Okay. It took some time by the question, the ba the baby was completely unplanned, right?
No, it was planned. Oh. So, so what you’re saying is part of his plan was to have a baby with you so he could leave,
but Yeah. Wait a sec. Wait a sec. So he planned to have a baby with you, and even if you think about it as you mentioned going into what you guys weren’t sure if you could or whatnot, or this is your miracle baby. Yeah. And you’re insecure in your relationship. Well, um, um, well, um, well, um. When we met, uh, my disease was in a better state.
It was in remission. Mm-hmm. But suddenly it, it got worse. And he has, he has to take care of me. Okay. And he has a lot of responsibility. Okay. So I want you to notice the part of you that felt even insecure before that. Can you see that? Yeah. So now you’re blaming it on the illness when you felt insecure before that, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So I want you to notice the part that anytime he’s upset, there’s a part of you that’s afraid he’s gonna leave. Can you see that? Yeah. If I ask you to notice for a moment,
if I ask you when that pattern started in your life, when, anytime anybody’s upset. If I ask you how much you’ve had a feeling of afraid of rejection or abandonment, what would you say? Uh, very much. It has happened before. Oh, okay. But it’s only because of him, right?
Or be before him? Before him. Before him. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So notice it started before this relationship, right? Yeah. Okay.
All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, again, I just, I love her self-awareness. And also what you’ll want to notice about this pattern is notice how it’s moving around. Notice when she mentioned that she’s afraid that he’s going to leave or expects him to leave.
Because they’re fighting a lot. But note is also, she also says because she’s sick, but she also was saying that she felt like he was gonna leave because she was more into him than he was to her in the beginning. So my point is, is she has all of these pattern. The pattern will show up. So in other words, she could address one thing and it’ll show up somewhere else, and she could address another thing and it’ll show up somewhere else because this has been her pattern.
Even before she met him. And that’s the tricky part when it comes to healing, is that we really need to re-pattern the mind because it’s like, and that’s what one thing that is really different about the work. When we really get specific with the mind and we understand what specific things and we re-pattern it, that is the key.
So, uh, said another way you hear me say all the time that unfortunately, you know, the woman with the abusive father can leave him and find the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, et cetera. That pattern can continue. And so what can happen is any of these patterns that are affecting your health could come and go.
Or disappear for a minute, or be at bay and then come back. So when we really want healing at a deeper level, we really have to identify that specific thing and rewire it. And that’s when healing maintains. That’s when the body heals itself. You know, for me personally, I’ve been healed now for over 15 years, and I feel fantastic, you know?
And so we want to be at a point where illness doesn’t come back, problems don’t come back, because that change really happens at a deeper level. And so that of course, is key. And we’re gonna go deeper and kinda look at that deeper, deeper level as we step back in with beautiful Anna. Here we go.
If I ask you zero to 10, how much you have a feeling of fear of rejection, what would you say? Zero to 10. Great. Great. Okay, so I would’ve said higher, but we’ll go with your eight. And so what I want you to notice is any little thing is painful because there’s a feeling of fear. Like if I told you I feel insecure in my relationship or fear of rejection at a level eight, okay.
When things happened, how much do you think I feel like an uncertainty or insecurity? Anytime. Any little thing. Yeah, any little mistake. Any little this? Any little that. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Is it gonna, oh my God, blah, blah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I know. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Now, if I ask you to notice there’s a part of you also that expects him to eventually leave, can you see that?
Mm-hmm. Yes. I love your awareness. Yeah. Zero to 10. How much? 10. Mm-hmm. Okay. So if I told you in my relationship I expect my relationship to end at a level 10,
what does that feel like? Awful sad. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And so he, he said, Hey, in a year or two, I’m outta here, right?
No. No. Okay. So how do you expect this at a level 10? It’s just that we’ve had, um, a lot of arguments and I see that he’s, he’s tired because, well, he takes care of almost everything. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, but I have a question. How much did you expect him to leave even before the illness?
I don’t know. Anytime you’ve had an argument. If I ask you how much you’ve expected him to leave, what would you say? Uh, right now, if we had an argument in the past. In the past, um, I don’t know. Okay. So if I ask you,
gimme one second.
Gimme
one second. Bingo.
Bingo. There we go.
And if I ask you, your parents, how long have they been married? Um. 48 years. Okay? And I want you to notice they’ve never had an argument, right?
Yeah. My parents are like cat and dog. They are. They have arguments all the time. Okay? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So notice wanting to create a better relationship than your parents, but also notice, just because there’s a conflict, it doesn’t mean it’s over, right? But you do wanna improve. Does that make sense?
You wanna do even better? Okay? Yeah. Yep. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe
bingo. Now, if I ask you, in the past, have you ever felt like you wanted to leave because there was an argument and left, what would you say?
Uh, never. Never. Okay. So you’re expecting your husband’s gonna leave. Why? Because he’s tired of me being sick. Okay, but notice you keep going to being sick, but notice you expected it to leave even before, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe
bingo. And by the way, if I ask you to notice the part of you feels like you do not deserve him, what would you say that’s true? Zero to 10. 10. 10. Okay. And if I ask you why you don’t deserve him, why is that?
Um, because he’s such a good man. Very, I’m kind caring, but I thought he was mean. And
so I’m ask you to breathe
and I’m gonna ask you to take in the feeling.
So, um, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe
and I’m gonna ask you to notice the part of you I who feels like
really? You’re so cute. Oh.
He’s so precious. So, uh, bingo, the cat. Um, all right, so, uh, bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and are you sure that you don’t deserve him? You feel it at a 10? Are you sure that you don’t deserve him? Well, I, I, I think I do deserve him. What? I, I deserve him. I deserve him. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
So zero to 10, you also feel like you don’t deserve him. Can you see that? Yeah. It’s, it depends on the situation. Ah, you to breathe. Mm-hmm. Now I want you to notice for a moment, like when your son grows up and gets in a relationship, he probably won’t deserve a kind, loving, wonderful relationship. You know what I mean?
You know what I mean? He probably like a loving, sweet, wonderful partner. Nah, he doesn’t deserve it at all. Right? Neither do you. No. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Great. Uh, and I want you to notice your level of pain, zero to 10. What’s your level?
I think there’s six. There’s some tension and nerve pain coming. It’s weird. So this is the thing, right? So I’m actually gonna wanna leave it right here, and this is why. Okay? Uh, what I’m going to recommend is you actually go through my course because this is what’s happening. Like, if I told you I feel like I can love myself for being, for being ill.
Now if I get rid of that, how does that go? Not so good. That’s so good. The other thing, like if I get rid of illness, the other thing is, is this, so this is what’s happening. There’s a part of you, like you said, at a level 10 that expects your husband’s gonna leave. And there’s also a feeling at a level 10, a feeling like you don’t deserve the relationship.
Yeah. And so what’s happening is there’s almost a, there’s a part of you that’s feeling like, um, how do I put it? That’s a, that expects like, kinda like this. If I said, I expect my partner to leave at a level 10. Yeah. I expect I don’t deserve the relationship at a level 10, but then I feel like I deserve to be taken care of because I’m sick.
So you see it? Yeah, I do. Yeah. So now if I get rid of illness, now what happens? Do I still feel like I deserve the relationship? So it’s, it’s all of these mixed emotions that are happening. And not only that, but even though there’s a part of you that expects that he might leave because of illness, there’s another part of you that expects he can’t leave because you’re ill.
And he wouldn’t do that ’cause he’s a nice guy. Can you see that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, none of this is true. But my point is, is notice for a moment we’re trying to bring it down and then your nerve pain wants to come in because if I ask, if I said to your body, Hey, does it feel safe to heal all the way your body says no.
Right? Yeah. Uh, there’s, and then not only that, but this is the other thing. Is that if you were completely healthy, would you also consider going back to work? Yeah. Yeah. And if I ask you how safe it feels to go back to work, what would you say? Well, um, it’s, it’s, if I ask you emotionally how emotionally safe it feels back to go back to work and notice the part of you who felt extremely criticized for all good things.
Can you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Like I know that, I know that your heart loves your job. I can see that your heart loves your job and wants to, but then any little feedback or if a kid repeats great or something like that, it feels brutal and painful. Can you see that? Yeah. Yeah. And when, uh, when I was pregnant, um, the time was very difficult at work.
Um, I had a bad, um, nausea. And also my pain was bad, so I just tried to survive there. Yes. And, and, uh, well there was some, a lot of things happening there and it ended up like people were mean to me because I tried to, um, take care of my own wellbeing. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I hear you. I hear you.
I hear you. And I just don’t want you to ingrain it anymore because watch this. Yeah. If I told you I need to go back to work and I feel like people were all mean to me, how safe does it feel to go back safe? Okay. So the thing of it is, is your body feels like it’s painful to move. Yeah. It doesn’t like notice.
It’s painful to move. You are gonna criticize, you feel like people’s criticism. Notice you have pain throughout your body. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s painful to walk, right? Yeah. So the thing of it is these, the feedback that’s extremely painful, the feeling of, I don’t deserve a relationship. The feeling of, oh my gosh, I’m expecting at a level 10, it’s gonna end.
Oh, I’m criticizing myself before other people criticize me because it’s pain. All of these things are extremely painful. And so it’s like, I, I, I can’t move and do anything. I’m afraid to move. I’m afraid of the future. I’m afraid of this. I’m afraid like all of these things right now, I could push it to help you release your pain, but you also don’t feel like it’s safe to heal.
’cause then you’d have to go back to work and the husband, and there’s so many things that really, yeah. I don’t want to push this at all. I would actually want you to go through the course and take your time with it and really, really rewire your mind. Make it feel safe and really rewire these, these emotional patterns and get your nervous system to do it because I don’t want to push you because that could feel uncomfortable too.
Does that make sense? Beautiful. Yeah. Okay. I understand. So yeah, I love your awareness. I really love your awareness. I love your heart. And bingo. Gimme one second. Okay, so this is what’s good. As you saw your pain go down from about a nine to a six, even the last one is six, but then you’re feeling some nerve pain that wants to come at.
So notice how it’s wanting to move around. So we’re talking again. Uh, we’re talking about the specific things, and so you can see that you have the influence to change it. It’s just, yeah. Again, you can, you can see all these patterns, right? Yeah. Yeah. I’m trying to figure out what kind of patterns are there, and now I know I have my suspicion, but, um, well, we all have different kind of traumas and happening in our life and you never know what is the one that affects you.
Exactly. So I’ve had now, you know, but I dunno where to start. And now, now I know. Now, you know. Um, yeah. Bingo. Um, yeah. So, uh, bingo. And, uh, the other thing is, is notice what’s happening though, is that notice you’ve been trying to be nice to yourself because of illness. Can you see that? Yeah. So what happens is, and I see people do that all of the time, is that then I.
If you’re nice to yourself because of illness. So if I said I have all these patterns, this fear, this wounding, uh, people are mean to me, all of these things, but I’m gonna be nice to myself because I’m ill. How much can I let go of the illness now? Not at all. Not at all. Yeah. And see people doing that exact thing where they can actually, and sometimes, and I’ll see people who actually bring down the pain and whatnot, but it never heals or illness shows up in this place, in this place, in this place.
So notice even your body wanted to start doing that. It said, okay, well we can start moving this around, but I’m not gonna let go of the illness. Let’s bring it in over here. So it did that exact, that’s why I was like, we’re gonna stop. We need to really rewire it at a deeper level. Does that make sense?
Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. So this is what I love. You have a miracle baby. And uh. And if you ask me, have I seen people go through my course who’ve healed themselves from rheumatoid arthritis? Yes, they have. I have seen people that, uh, their are, their rheumatoid factor was off the charts and now it’s normal.
It’s great. It’s within range. It’s good. No pain. People that literally, like, people, like one person I’m thinking of who went through the course was like messaging in like every month. Oh my gosh. I went up the stairs for the first time. Oh, I went to yoga class again. Oh. I went and I’ve had multiple people who’ve messaged in and, and, and had those very things.
So, so don’t feel discouraged. Just realize that’s why I said it. Say at the end of every single podcast, I say, you know, it does take a real change and it really does, but it’s a real gift. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I adore you. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you. Beautiful. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Thank you so much. You’re so welcome. Yeah. Right. So an what’s that? You’re an angel. Thank you. Thank you so, so much. Thank you.
All right, so let’s go ahead and unpack this, because this episode is just so profound and there’s so many insights from this episode. And so first and foremost, I have to say, I just love our volunteers. She’s beautiful, she’s brilliant. I love her heart, and I love her desire to get better. You can tell she just wants to heal so badly and also.
You can see why it’s tricky, you know, if you’ve ever felt frustrated with healing because you felt like, you know, I just wanna heal like I get it, by the way, I personally would get frustrated. But think about this for a moment. First and foremost, she’s so mean and hard on herself. So that’s one she’s really hard critical on herself.
That’s one thing. Now another thing is this is any feedback she has, she takes it really personally. So it’s, it’s damaging to her. Now, if you think about it, that then creates a feeling of fear to go back to work. A feeling of expecting her husband is gonna leave her. She’s not good enough. So my point is, it’s like one pattern is affecting another is affecting another, is affect.
And so the reason that it can sometimes feel tricky is that very thing is that one pattern can affect another and affect another. And that’s why when we get specific and we realize, okay, these are the patterns. It becomes pivotal. And that’s why you’ll hear me say all of the time that there’s always a specific combination, and that is the key.
And when you identify that specific combination, it’s profound because then you can work on them. And sometimes it’s working on them simultaneously. Because if you think about it, you know each one with hers, if, if she starts working on the feeling of not critic or of feeling good about herself, so she’s working on feeling good about herself, but then she’s also, you know, only nice to herself if she’s sick.
You know? So it’s, it’s those specifics. That’s the point is that, you know, if she’s criticizing self, but then she’s trying to expect that her husband’s going to leave and then, you know, she is, has those feelings. But then also she’s feeling undeserving. If you feel undeserving of something, but you’re trying to change your expectation, I mean.
It sounds all confusing, and that’s because it can be, it can feel that very way. But if she just addresses each specific thing and works to begin changing that, it’s profound. But you also see why these things can come back. So as she noticed, these patterns started even before she was with him. And so that’s the problem, is these patterns and, and that’s what we need for real healing.
And so often I’ll see people who just, and you know, they put positive thinking or self-love or affirmations or meditation or whatever it is, and they try to put it on top of that. And, and some of those things could be great, but it doesn’t really fix the underlying problem. And I’ve had some people before, they say, well, hey, Brandy, you’re working and needing to identify the specific, it’s, it’s complex and let’s be honest.
So is a computer. A computer is complex. Our minds are complex. And so if I, if anybody ever tells you, oh, the mind is really, really easy question that it’s like if they said, you know, reprogramming the super computer, oh, all you gotta do is put in some affirmations question that, because it is complex and not only that, but our minds can get misfired.
It happens all of the time. And that’s where I wanna go, is notice con consciously, she wants to heal. She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t wanna heal. And, and it can feel her desire to want to heal and notice there’s a part of her that’s also afraid to get better. And she didn’t realize that. And, but their fear of going back to work and.
These things happen so often. It’s not just her. These are so common that I actually put both of these examples in my book, meaning that there were only so many examples I could fit in my book, but I intentionally made a point to put an example of somebody named Diego in my book whose pain went away.
And then it came back because of this very reason is that all the time I’ll see people who do surface level things, but they don’t really rewire the mind at a deeper level. So either the problem comes back or it comes back in a different way, or it comes back worse, or it keeps coming back, or you know, different things.
Now notice in her case, and she’s trying to get rid of it, and she did, she at least got her pain down from a nine to a six, seven. So she could see, but then it wanted to show up in other areas. And that’s when I said, okay, let, but let’s not do that. Let’s, ’cause I could, could, could I push her to make a change?
Sure. I could push her to make a change. How is that gonna come back? Where is it gonna come back? And so it wasn’t worth pushing on because her body, um, feels like it needs illness right now to keep her safe. And by the way, that may sound odd, but that is, again, so common that I put that example in my book also.
And so the example that I use in my book is, this is the example I use, is a little boy named Johnny, who literally, he would go to school and he would go to school and he’d feel picked on, and then he would come home and he would get love and attention and taken care of and all of these things. And then he would go to school and he’d feel picked on and he’d get his stomach ache, he’d get sick, he’d come home, he’d get nurtured attention, love taken care of, and he’d go back to school and he’d get sick.
So what happened? Not consciously, but in his subconscious mind, he got it linked up in his mind, in his nervous system that if he goes to school or that if he’s healthy, he has to go back to school and then he is gonna be picked on. But if he’s sick, then he stays at home and he gets love. So obviously he didn’t wanna be sick, but he’s stuck between those things.
As soon as he gets healthy, then he goes back to school and it doesn’t feel safe. He feels picked on, so then he gets sick and he goes home. So it linked up in his nervous system that it’s safer and more love and more connection and more rewarding to be sick. And as soon as he gets healthy, it is not safe to be healthy.
He’s gonna feel picked on. And so there’s no love, there’s no connection. He is picked on, it’s unsafe. So that’s what got linked up in his nervous system. It doesn’t make logical sense. And of course he didn’t do it on purpose, but things get linked up in the mind. Uh, just by two things that happen at the same time.
So the example you hear me use all the time is Pavlov and the dog. If you’re familiar with that study, you know, Pavlov would ring the bell and feed the dog and ring the bell and feed the dog and ring the bell and feed the dog. And before you know it, that got linked up. So all he had to do was ring the bell and the dog would start salivating like it was going to get food because it got linked up.
And so the same happens with our nervous system. Even when it doesn’t make any sense, those things get linked up. And so again, it’s not just her. She’s, uh, brilliant and wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to heal the nervous system. Is doing this, and obviously she doesn’t want to be in pain. And so she’s, it’s, and then she’s hard on herself and it’s just this spiral.
And so it, that’s the key is that getting out of the spiral and really identifying and addressing the specifics is so important. And so I know that it can seem a bit complex, but that’s where we get real healing is just may simplifying it, identifying what is going on and identifying the specifics instead of just trying to, you know, cover it up with positive thinking.
Don’t get me wrong, positive thinking, visualization. That can all be great. We just also need to be specific with the mind, because our minds, they are specific and they do have patterns, but when we re-pattern them, it becomes a life changing gift. So keep that in mind that, you know, when you stop and think about it, we come here, we learn math, we learn science and history and all of these things, but it comes to learning with the mind, learning our own minds, and we’re like, eh.
You know, but the more that we learn our own minds, the more it’s pivotal. And that’s what I always tell people is when I finally realized that for me to heal myself, that healing is a skill. Healing is a skill. And when you get that, it was pivotal. And the way to think about it is like, this is, we come into this world and we have the ability to walk.
We have the ability to talk, we have the ability to write our names, but we have to learn each of those. We have to even learn where’s our nose, you know? Uh, so we need to learn all of these things. We have the ability, we need to learn it. The same is true. With, uh, healing ourselves. We have this ability. We just have to learn how to do it.
And so that was pivotal in my own life because I had been, you know, doing the positive thinking, the visualization, the meditation, the affirmations, the chanting, the bin beats, all of the things. Just trying to put all of those things in, hoping, wishing, praying, begging that to just heal. But when it didn’t work and I said, okay, let me understand my mind.
It was pivotal. It was pivotal. And so that of course is my hope for you. And that’s the reason that I do all these things is so you understand. So you see, so we can all heal because yeah, there’s some complexities and if anybody says, oh, the mind just, you know, put some icing on it, you know, it’s, there’s understanding how to you to really use the mind is powerful.
But again, that’s the thing. After I healed myself, then I started, you know, of course showing other people that they could do it too, but also having people who wanted to change their relationships or their business and they were stuck and they were in fear and, and sinking in their business and their family, or their finance, whatever it is.
And I said, okay, well it’s the mind. So my point is, is that the skill of learning how to heal yourself doesn’t stop there. When you master your mind and you learn how to heal yourself, then you go, okay, well I wanna change this area of my life in this area. Like it, it just empowers you to continue to make so many changes in your life.
So coming to this from a place of, even with with Anna, like imagine in her situation, she masters her mind and then says, okay, well let me. Heal my relationship and, and feel confident and, and, and feel like a great mom and feel loving and kind to herself. And then, you know, she can continue to empower and grow and what does she wanna do?
And, and make a, you know, it just beautiful things. And I love that she’s a teacher and, and works with children. I mean, just, uh, a beautiful, beautiful thing. And so just there’s so much we can do the more we understand how to master our own mind. So just food for thought and. Taking that in. So that’s today’s episode.
I invite you to please take an insight that and apply it to your own life. What can you do? What, how can this help you? So that’s today’s episode. And by the way, I ask you, please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know.
Because the more that every single person in our world is empowered and happy, and healthy, and loved, and loving, and knows how to program their own mind, the better this world is for all of us. And so please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button and please do to have the most wonderful, incredible rest of your day.
And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We.
Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are.
If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point, and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.
And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.
I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You’ll wanna remember that there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at Brandy Gillmore dot com slash podcast.
And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly. Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won’t want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you’ll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind.
Thank you.
