Introduction
Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life.
My name is Brandi Gilmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.
Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.
Let’s begin.
Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it and I just love. Today’s episode. On today’s episode, I’m going to be working with a beautiful volunteer. Her name is Mary, and you’re absolutely going to love her.
She is just so beautiful inside and out Her heart, her authenticity is really incredible. She’s just magnetizing. She’s just this beautiful, beautiful being and. Her caring, in her honesty is just it. It draws you to her. And also some of the things that she’s been experiencing are so common. You know, the feeling of wanting, of somebody’s approval, wanting approval, and feeling like you’re not getting it.
So that’s one of the things that she’s been struggling with. In addition to feeling criticized and feeling feelings of rejection or not good enough, but then also self-criticism and also struggling with physical pain now for over 34 years. And so there’s a lot of different things that are going on. And the beautiful thing is, is just her awareness and the way that the session unfolds is just really, really powerful.
And so that’s where we’re going now. By the way, one other topic that came up is that she’s also had, you’d been using alcohol as a coping mechanism, and that’s been going on for a long period of time. And so I’ve had some questions on that from the last episode, and so I’m gonna un unpack that even more today.
Now, what I mean by the last episode is this. Is that when I worked with Mary, this session was about an hour long, but there are so many different insights that by the time I added in the insights, this would be a two and a half hour podcast, and I don’t wanna do that to you. So I’ve split it into a few separate segments so it’s shorter.
And so last week we did a a segment that is about. Self-criticism and starting to look at that feeling of wanting approval and starting to release her pain. And so that’s where we started. If you haven’t yet listened to that one, the beginning of it, I strongly recommend doing so, but either way, you’ll still find today’s episode beneficial because what you’ll notice is as we start in.
We start with that very thing, with the feeling of her criticizing herself, but then also wanting her sister’s approval and, and the stuckness around that. And then from hurt and frustration, there’s a part of her who’s also speaking poorly about her sister. And as much as she loves her, she absolutely loves her.
And then she’s frustrated and hurt. And, and so that spiral comes up and you just, you look at her and you, you get it. And not only that, but just the insights. That come from it are really profound. And so that’s where we’re going as we step in with our beautiful volunteer Mary. Here we go.
I feel I have tried that. Asked her to go to things with me, say that I thought she would enjoy and it’s very hard work. Very hard work and it’s not enjoyable. And I try to be a bit of fun and she’d look at me and go like, but, but why would you do that? I don’t, she, it’s like she doesn’t, she can’t understand why I might break the rules.
For example, why do I feed my dogs twice a day instead of once, because I do, but I’ve tried all of this and, and she wait, say, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Gonna ask you to breathe. Oh God. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I want you to notice zero to 10 how critical you are of yourself. What would you say?
Zero to 10? Yeah. I’m always examining my own behavior, zero to 10, and my own actions. Oh God. Hi. Yeah. 10. So what you’re saying is, is she’s a reflection of the voice that’s in your head. So I’m gonna say that in another way. If I look at, uh, your energy. B, even since age eight. So notice what you said. You, you mentioned that, uh, you’ve had issues, pain, headaches, different things like that going on for over 34 years.
But so there’s, there’s a, there’s a pattern, there’s patterns, uh, bingo. And I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Gimme one second. Bingo. Can you see the part of you who’s extremely critical of self? Extremely. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So what you’re saying is, is that it’s okay for you to do that, but if she reflects that back to you, you don’t like it?
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So if I said my mind is wired in a way that is gonna criticize the heck out of myself, and I just want other people to now give me approval from my own mind that’s attacking myself and being mean to myself. And if other people could just make this better for me and reassure me this is the answer, all I have to do is change other people.
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Yeah.
All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, all the time I’ll see people in that place where they’re wanting approval from somebody else. Because ultimately they don’t feel good enough about themselves, and so the craving of it. And so if you inside of yourself has a tendency to really seek approval from others, then likely that’s a clue that you may not be feeling good enough about yourself.
And so you’re wanting that craving that from others. And so that’s. What’s going on in her case is, you know, there’s this feeling she’s been so hard on herself and you’ll notice coming up. It’s like the things that she is and does. She’s constantly comparing and feeling not good enough. And again, I mean, she’s a beautiful being.
Just her heart, her being who she is, she’s lovely. And by the way, on that note, you notice I compliment her and that’s just genuine. I think she’s wonderful and incredible and I just feel this, this care for her. But you’ll also notice as I’m working with her. That I might push a little bit, I might be a little pushy.
And this is the reason why is because I don’t wanna reinforce her pattern. And the simple analogy you hear me use all the time is this, is if somebody says, I look horrible in this blazer, what are you supposed to say? No you don’t. You look amazing. In which case, what happens? If I criticize myself, then a compliment gets connected and so the mind can get mis wired.
And so if I’m working with her and I’m giving and she’s saying, oh, I’m feeling picked on or whatnot, and I say, oh, I’m so sorry, I. Then she gets sympathy linked up to the pattern, and then I’m not helping her. I’m becoming part of the problem. I’m reinforcing her very patterns. Or if she says, you know, I’m horrible and I say, oh no, you’re not.
You look good in that. Or, no, you’re not, you’re great. And so instead, I’m kind of coming from a different angle and because again, that’s also. Approval seeking, oh, I look bad in it. No you don’t. You look great. Or it’s reassurance. And so in just so many ways, it can get linked up in the subconscious mind.
So my point is, you’ll notice, even though I have so much compassion for her situation, I. I’m also, you know, asking her to, to work through it, to think through it, to really change and work with her mind in a different way. And so that, of course, as you’re working with yourself, you wanna be kind and also you wanna really want something different for you.
I. Not be stuck in the coddling or the feeling bad for self or any of that. And by the way, I say that with so much respect because going through my injury, I also know there was a time that I felt sorry for myself. There absolutely was. And then I felt like, sorry for myself, I felt like a victim. All of those things.
And then. I said, okay, but I need to get outta this. I need to change. And so, uh, uh, coming from that place of knowing, being there, having experienced that, and also knowing that what it takes to really rise above and get outta that. So that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer.
Mary, here we go.
And I am gonna ask you to take in the feeling. Of what it feels like to really, really, really be nice to self, to really, really, really, really, really be nice to self. Are you willing to actually do that? Yeah. I And if you knew that as you changed what? Go ahead. I am, I, I, I, I have, I know I’m conscious that I’m very self-critical and I have.
Right. Say, stop, stop, stop criticizing yourself. No, no, no. And I feel I’m stuck and I can’t seem to stop doing it. I don’t know how to do it. ’cause I think logically I know what, but I can’t. Logically I know I need to do it, but I, I’m not sure how I, I love your awareness Now, by the way, what’s your first language?
English. Okay. And if I ask you, uh, how many languages do you speak? Only really English fluent. Okay. So now if you tell yourself to stop speaking English, how soon do you think you’ll speak German?
Never. Why not? I’d have to learn it first. Oh. Oh, okay. Learned. I haven’t learned. Jeremy, would you tell your mind to stop criticizing yourself? Yeah, it’s going s it’s going suddenly start being nice to you? No. Oh. You would have to actually train it to be nice yourself. Change your thinking. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Change your way. Yeah, totally. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So notice how many times you’ve told yourself to stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Which is, yeah. Kind of maybe being critical of yourself. For being critical of yourself. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Absolutely. So ask you. So instead, imagine if things come up and you retrain your mind and you say, okay, instead I want my mind to work like this.
Instead, I want my mind to work like this. Instead, from now on in this situation, I want my mind to work like this. I want my mind to work like this. And you retrain your brain to work in a different way. Do you think that could be more effective? Well, yeah, that, that would be great to know. To do. To do that.
Yeah. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Now there’s another piece to that, and it’s this is that emotions also work at a deeper level in that, in that retraining your mind is part of it. But emotions are also a bit of a different animal in that it’s kind of like this, um, that they also. Shift our perception as well. So there’s multiple layers to emotions, and that’s what makes them a little tricky.
And it’s kind of like this.
Yes. Uh, if you feel really, really, really in love with somebody, you feel really, really, really, really in love with somebody, what do you see in them? Oh, all good. Good, all good. And if you feel really, really, really, really critical of them, what do you see? Or you feel upset? All bad. All the bad, right? Mm-hmm.
So beyond just the wiring part, so the programming is part is important, but also shifting. The more you shift your emotions, then you more you see in a different way, and you perceive in a different way. So emotions have different layers of programming that are deeper in the subconscious mind. Does that make sense?
Yeah. Yep. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So said another way. You’re gonna have to stop feeling bad about yourself. Yeah. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Mm-hmm. And the more you’re willing to stop feeling bad about yourself. The more you can shift it. So the, so in working with the mind, there were certain key discoveries that I made.
And so I call this emotion controlled perception or emotion controlled consciousness, because these emotions that are wired at a deeper level actually also shift your consciousness, your perception. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
So is the way you’re even seeing yourself even true? Probably not. Hmm. Since you’ve been putting all of these feelings towards yourself for so long. Mm. Even seeing yourself isn’t really accurate. Correct. Hmm. Great. I’m gonna ask you to, and I know I interrupted because I’m asking you to see yourself with kindness.
Okay. Now, if you saw yourself that way, how much of your sister’s approval would you need? None.
All right, so I wanna pause it just for a very quick insight and it’s, this is, you can start to see a glimpse of the reason that people stay stuck is because the mind works different than most people realize. You know, a lot of times people are just trying to bring in positive thinking or mantras or whatnot, but.
There’s a deeper wiring in the mind. There’s a deeper consciousness, like a emotion controlled consciousness or emotion controlled perception, whatever you wanna call it, consciousness or perception. But either way, the awareness that our emotions help shift our consciousness, there’s so many things that are affecting our mind and our experience, and so.
All of the time in working with people and looking at what is shaping their experience, what part of the mind, what are the factors, what are, what’s going on, and how do we rewire that? But you can start to see why it can be complicated and why it can feel complex. But again, I mean, if you think about a computer, a computer is complex too, and yet we can succeed at them.
And so the same is true with our minds is that we just, the more we understand it, the easier it is. But just from this. You can start to see a little bit of the complexities and just working through simplifying it and making it easier to get results. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Mary.
Here we go.
So you can see how. There’s a bunch of these patterns that are all mixed together that are affecting each other, which is then speaking poorly about her, is then the hurt, the spiral, the upset, all of these things, but also the critical of self, and then that’s showing up in your life, et cetera, right?
Mm-hmm. So I’m gonna ask you, yeah. Now you can go ahead and continue what you were gonna say, but I wanted you to just see the, the, the connection. Yeah. I can’t.
Okay, so, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe
and I’m gonna push a little bit. Okay? Yeah, yeah. I think you absolutely are gonna need your sister’s approval. I mean, I don’t know how you would even live without your sister’s approval. I mean, isn’t she like the approval stamp for everybody? I. She thinks she did sometimes. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you Brina, no.
You see the part of you that wants her approval? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should definitely spend your life hoping for that. Like my hope is to one day have her approval. That’s my goal in life. Yours too, right? Mm-hmm. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe Binga, and you could be confidently you.
Mm. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, there’s two things that I wanna say here. You know, there’s the feeling where she’s been in that spiral of just wanting that approval, and so I’m trying to help her to see that she doesn’t need it, because so often people can get stuck in that feeling of wanting approval from others.
And what you’ll notice is that this pattern started even before her sister. And so. There’s a pattern here, and it’s a painful pattern and a painful pattern of feeling hurt and unliked. And so there’s, there’s some wounding here. And so what you’ll notice is this feeling of hurt, this fear of abandonment, this feeling of, you know, feeling not good enough and critical of self is just, it’s spiraling.
And so, even by the way, I mentioned previously that she’s kinda speaking poorly about her sister and not in a way where she’s trying to damage her sister. But in a way that’s like frustrated and then upset and hurt and, but she’s frustrated. You know, it’s not, it’s not malicious, it’s just, but it’s just this feeling of feeling this, the spiral.
And so, and by the way, either way though, it’s not reflecting in a positive way. And the reason that I say that, and we’ll talk about that coming up, is you also remember that part of her pain that we had talked about when we first started was actually in her mouth. And in her tongue. And that’s part of the reason it’s there is, is she’s so frustrated and then it’s coming out and, and all of that.
And by the way, on that note, when I’m joking around saying, I, you know, I hope to get approval from your sis, your sister, and I’m saying that to her. I’m not at all mocking her sister. I’m just trying to, you know, pull her out of the pattern. And, and on the note of speaking poorly, so often people underestimate.
How important this pattern is, like for speaking poorly, they’ll, they’ll feel like, oh, it’s just words. Oh, it’s just words. But it’s not just words. And this is what I mean. Let’s say somebody’s speaking poorly about another person socially. And they’re ruining their love in their life, or they’re speaking poorly about somebody and they’re ruining their business or their raise or their what and like, and we’ll, we’ll get deeper into it, but my point being is so often people overlook the importance of speaking poorly and the impact.
And I can tell you when I’m on the other side, where I’ve seen people who, they’re mad at a restaurant, so they go in and they leave a horrible, unfair review. It affects their own life in so many ways. And they’re like, why is life so hard? Or I’ve seen people do that to books where they’re mad about meditation or this or that or whatnot, and they teach this and that.
So they go in and they slam another book or whatever and they go write this huge, critical, this or that or the other, and they’re wondering why they have. Problems and hardship and sickness and all of these things, and they think it’s okay. They think, oh, well, let me just make up a fake pen name and let me write a bad review around this or that, or whatever, blah, blah, blah.
And they don’t realize. It’s hitting them in their financial or their health or their life or, you know, the, the energy that they’re attracting and, and all of these things. So my point is, is that definitely I’m not speaking poorly about her sister at all in any way, and I wouldn’t want to. And also that, you know, in this case, it’s showing up in her tongue and, and whatnot.
And, we’ll, we’ll talk more about that coming up, but just at this point it’s, you know, even though I’m saying, oh, I hope to have your sister’s approval, you know, I am just bringing light. Perspective to the situation. And so sometimes in your own patterns, if you can be silly or playful and and just kind of notice what the mind is doing it, it can be helpful.
So on that note, we’re going to of course, unpack this all even further, and that’s where we’re going as we step back in and with Beautiful Mary. Here we go.
Now, the thing of it is, is I want you to notice, have you have a tendency to, to, to speak poorly about her right now. This is what most people don’t realize. Like that energy is going to attract more problems, okay? Mm-hmm. And, uh, so I would say part of the core of it also is speaking poorly about others.
Okay. About her, about others. But that thing now, it’s kinda like this. So let’s say that you’re speaking poorly about somebody and as a result, okay, so let’s say somebody’s speaking poorly about you, right? Mm mm And as a result, you get less love in life, um, and you get less job opportunities and less pay.
That’s not the big of a deal though, right? Yeah. Or is it? It’s right now, if you think about it for a. You’ve heard before, like we as human beings, we need love and connection, right? Yeah. So let’s say somebody’s speaking poorly about you and you get less love in life, right? Yeah. But we need love and connection in life, right?
So it’s kinda like this. Imagine if somebody’s speaking poorly about you and you get less oxygen. Not that big of a deal, right? Hmm. Right? Hmm. Or do you think, Hey, wait a second. Maybe that’s a problem. Yeah. Yeah. It’s a problem, right? So, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So when somebody speaks poorly about somebody else, what happens is, is it if somebody has less love because of it, that takes from their life.
That’s like taking somebody’s oxygen. We need love, we need connection. So if you’re speaking poorly about somebody and it’s affecting their, their health or their, their health, their life, their happiness, their relationships, their love, their work, their pay, their something or other, it’s not fair to them and it’s taking life from somebody else.
Does that make sense? So if I speak poorly of another person, this can affect areas of their life. You’re saying? Is that, is that what you’re saying to me and yours? Yes. And yours. It’s kind of like this mine. Let’s say somebody starts speaking poorly about you at work. Yeah. And it affects your ability to get a raise.
Okay. Is that, is that good of them to do? Or Let’s say somebody starts speaking poorly about you in a social circle. Now you have less friends, but by the way, yeah. To flourish in life. We all need human connection and love. And so now you have less pay or less job success or less, it’s taking from you in an unfair way.
Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So now by the way, that cannot affect your health. Absolutely. So it can affect both people because somebody who’s doing that. It can affect their health and they don’t even realize it. Does that make sense? So that’s why by, and by the way, the reason we’re talking about is the tongue in the mouth.
That’s part of what’s going on there. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe,
and I’m gonna ask you to notice your level of pain, zero to 10. What’s your level of pain in your neck?
One. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. If you know that you’re the power to change this, that you have the power to change the dynamic with your sister, that okay, you’re gonna not speak poorly about her, and okay, you’re gonna stop wanting her approval, but instead, you are gonna change yourself. So you’re not criticizing yourself, you’re not criticizing yourself at all, but you are being kind to yourself and you’re watching that reflect in your life.
You are being kind and loving and supportive of yourself. You’re watching that reflect in your life. Yeah. What does that Great. Great. Really good. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and then you don’t expect your sister to be anything other than your sister, and you can let her be her. And I won’t expect my cat to do my dishes or anything else for that matter.
And you just, and you don’t take it personally, like if my cat doesn’t. Do something. I’m not gonna take it personally. I’m not gonna feel discouraged or disappointed or whatnot. And if your sister’s just acting like your sister, if she says, it’s kinda like, this is, it’s like if somebody’s always disappointed with this and that and that, and now you’re just like, oh, okay, well I’m not gonna take that personally.
It’s not gonna hurt me. Okay. Right. Yeah. Yep. I’m gonna ask you to, to breathe.
So let’s say you’re wearing something that she doesn’t, or you’re feeding your dog twice a day and she doesn’t love it. And you said, you know what? My dog seems pretty happy with it. Yeah. Okay. Be you. Be you. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. So, uh.
All right, so let’s take just a quick moment as far as my cat not doing my dishes. Can you believe that? And uh, of course being silly, but my point is exactly that is all of the time I’ll see people expect something from somebody that is not their nature. It’s like if, imagine if somebody suddenly asked you or was expecting you to start playing basketball and you never did and they’re mad at you for it, and of course maybe you do play basketball, but imagine if they expect you to play tennis or a golf or go skydive, whatever it is, they expect you to do something.
That is not you, and they’re mad at you for it. And that’s my point is that it’s, and her sister’s great and wonderful and, and, and I can, again, I can see how much she just loves her sister so much and that sweetness, and you can tell. It, it just, she cares and it’s just really, really sweet. And so it’s nothing bad about her sister.
And, and it’s not saying her sister is doing anything wrong or Right, it’s just saying exactly that, that we can’t expect things from others that they haven’t said they’re going to provide. And you don’t want others to start expecting or demanding things from you. That you haven’t agreed to either. And so relationships are, you know, of course about connecting with people and relationship, you know, building relation, relationship and connecting, you know, and, and building rapport, relationship, connecting over where people are, meeting people, where they are enjoying that connection, enjoying the love, enjoying the happiness, creating fun experiences.
And so we don’t wanna expect. Anything other than, you know, what a person is willing to provide. So just food for a thought on that, just because I see so often people struggle like wanting approval and it’s like, well wait a second, does she even hand that out? Because it so often it can be tricky as we talked about on the last episode.
You know, sometimes it can be so tricky and so often where one person’s wanting one thing and another person’s wanting another, like for example. Let’s say one person is wanting to get approval and, and get acknowledgement from another, so they’re trying to impress them. They’re saying, oh, I did this and I did this, and maybe the other has a, has a pattern of feeling competitive.
So instead of offering approval, they’re saying, oh, you did that. Okay, well next level. And so no, like, they’re not getting their needs met. One person’s constantly feeling like they need to compete and the other person’s competing with them, and the other person’s constantly wanting approval. And they never realize that their triggers are triggering each other or whatnot.
So it can be so tricky. And so that’s why changing yourself in a relationship really does it. It opens doors and energy and what we’re manifesting. It’s just incredible. And so just food for thought as we dive back in with Beautiful Mary, here we go.
And I want you to notice all of the hurt you have towards your sister. And notice you don’t actually need it. She can have her own opinion, right? Mm-hmm. Do do you need all the hurt? Like actually bingo? Like if you think about it, how much would your sister say that she absolutely loves you? Probably if you asked her to say she would.
She does? Yes. So what do you need? All the hurt for? I don’t, I don’t need it at all. Yeah. If you called your sister to connect, would your sister answer your call? Yeah. Yeah. If you asked her to go to lunch, would you guys, would she go to lunch with you? More than likely, yeah. So she mightn’t because she’s perfect and she might like to lay on my shoes.
Okay. But be okay with that. Yeah. And don’t expect to be criticized. Let hurry what she wants and you can eat what you want, right? Yeah. Yeah. So don’t expect to be criticized. I mean, how many people go to meals and they eat different things? Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. All of the time, right? Yeah. Yeah. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a really quick moment. You know, I wanna point out something. Notice how that automatic programming came in right away. You know, I mentioned as soon as I mentioned the idea of grabbing a bite with her sister, her immediate feeling was feeling less than feeling like, yes, her sister loves her.
And yes, she would say yes. Then she would feel critical about what she was eating and notice who was criticizing it. She said, oh, well, she would probably eat perfect and healthy, and immediately she felt less about herself. So that automatic comparison or fear is automatically built in that expectation.
And so of course. It keeps showing up. And so creating that real change is key. Now, there’s another tricky part coming up and I’ll show you as this unfolds. And so let’s go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Mary. Here we go,
bingo. And I want you to notice the part of you who feels like if you don’t do what she wants, she’s going to abandon you. Can you see that? Yeah, she’s quite capable of cutting out. No problem. It’s happened before. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and I want you, yeah, so I’m actually afraid of her cutting me out.
Yeah. Afraid of that Uhhuh. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe,
and if I ask you to notice for a moment last time, she cut you out. Why would you say that was? Can you see the reason, the reason was, um, I was sick. I, we were to meet that evening myself and my partner and her, her husband were to meet for immediate, and I had col. I didn’t know I had it, but my, I was so sick that day and I phoned her.
I sent her a text to say, look, I’m really sorry, but I’m not feeling well. And I thought, oh, she’s going to say this is the second time they’ve canceled on us. I, and I was thinking in my head, she’s probably going to say, oh, she wouldn’t do that to her other friends. So I rang her to prove it to her that it really wasn’t, was not feeling well.
And she answered the phone, hello, really? Sort of snotty like, and I said, oh, hi, hi. And she said, I’m getting ready. And I said, flippantly. Like, look, I don’t care. I I don’t care about that. I wanna just say to you that I am really not well. But she took that me to mean I didn’t care and that I care not one ta about what, what she feels or what priorities she has in her life and that, oh my God.
Yeah. Okay. So you guys, that was this so was a what? It was a misunderstanding. It was a misunderstanding. Yeah. And I was texting her and ringing her for days to try and make it right. Okay. Because I was terrified that we’d, we’d fall out again. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and notice how you expected her criticism.
Yeah. Okay. What would happen if you started expecting everything to go well that she would understand?
I should have just left it at the text. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Bingo.
All right, so let’s go ahead and actually pause the session right here, because there are profound insights and it’s this, it’s that. Notice for a moment she mentioned when she wasn’t feeling good that she texted her sister, but she what she expected that her sister was going to be upset. So the way I want you to think about it’s like this.
If we expect to fail. Things aren’t gonna go well. If you expect somebody to criticize you or judge you or whatnot, likely you’re going to continue to have actions or behaviors that continue to perpetuate that. So when she immediately expects that her sister’s gonna cri criticize her for this or this or this, what happens is on a subconscious level, that’s what happens is we end up taking actions or doing something.
That perpetuates the problem. It’s like if you know somebody expects to be rejected or expects somebody to be mad, then maybe their way of delivering something. Isn’t right. And so that’s exactly my point. Now there’s another insight and it’s, this is, as soon as I said, you know, you wanna do it in a different way, she immediately thought about changing her actions.
Right? I should have just left it at the text. But the ultimate issue on the is is happening on the inside. It’s the feeling of expecting. Hurt expecting the criticism. And so it’s just this unfortunate cycle. And as you can see, you know, Mary, she’s just, she’s such a sweetheart. You just, you can’t help but love her and her authenticity.
She’s just, she’s, you just can’t help but love her. And oh, so you can see why she’s really stuck in this spiral. And so that’s an insight that I wanna give you is exactly that, with that spiral. It makes it hard to get out unless you really, really rewire the mind. And so the insight that I wanna give you here is this is, I actually wanna pause this session just because we’re about two thirds of the way through.
There’s still more, which is really profound. But I don’t wanna make this episode too long, so I wanna give you a couple more insights to just digest and then we’ll continue on next week. With the last parts on this, this session, we’re gonna go into part three next week and we’ll dive in even deeper because again, there are more profound insights.
But my point is from this, you can see the pattern, you can see the spiral, you can see that stuckness. And so that’s one thing. That I really wanna highlight and that you’ll really want to change. Now, there’s another piece that I mentioned in the very beginning, and it has to do with the coping mechanism.
And you may recall as we first started in the very beginning of this episode, and as I first stepped in with her, she mentioned she had been using alcohol as a coping mechanism. And some people say, well, you know, when is, when is the time to quit a coping mechanism? And the first thing I’m gonna say is if it’s some type of substance.
Ask your doctor first. So I’m gonna say that above all, ask your doctor because I don’t know your individual situation and et cetera. Ask your doctor always. Now, that’s one thing. Now, as far as what I have seen work and be successful and even, you know, just all kinds of situations, is this, is that she mentioned it was her coping mechanism.
And so a lot of times what happens is if somebody can set a goal, like say for example, they say, okay, look it. Let me establish some coping mechanisms. Let me, let me actually start being able to work with my mind and in my emotions and let me get those tools in so that they can succeed. And so that’s ultimately, let’s say first the situation with this beautiful woman.
What I would say is exactly that. I would say, number one, doctor, your doctor, and I would say number two, the suggestion would be something like that, like setting up a a month. Out of saying, okay, my goal is to stop in a month, and in that time I am gonna get coping, you know, skills, and I’m gonna work on these emotions.
I’m gonna be really intentional in changing it. Because if you think about it right now, if somebody doesn’t have a coping mechanism and then suddenly tries to quit, the chances of succeeding can cannot be so. You know, if they can’t, they don’t, they’re using alcohol or whatnot as a coping mechanism to cope, and then they have, they’re gonna say, okay, well, I’m just gonna get rid of it.
But it’s, you know, it’s how they cope are coping. Um, it can spiral in a, in a negative direction. And so my point is, is a lot of times if you really, really just are learning to master your mind, you can feel like you’re empowered. And by the way, I can tell you in my own life. If you’ve heard my story, you know, I was on morphine for over six years.
I’d had zero trouble going off of it. I was on morphine, I was on Norco, I was on, I was was on all kinds of medications. I didn’t have any issues, but I. My pain went away, right? So I was, I didn’t, I didn’t want to be taking this stuff. And during my injury, I had also taken Oxycontin for a while and, you know, all kinds of things.
So I, you know, that, that was me. Um, I’ve also seen other people that have gone through my courses and have literally said, I never thought I would like, I’ve. Had people say, write in and say they never thought that they would be free of Oxycontin or any type of drugs or whatnot, and they couldn’t imagine how they would ever do it, and they’re in tears.
They’re off of it. Happy, healthy, and so I’ve seen that so many times of people doing exactly that. Now, am I recommending that? No. Again, talk to your doctor about any type of substance that you’re on first, your medical professional, whoever it is, but. I’m just saying, it’s like when we feel like we can lift ourselves and have a positive mindset and don’t need the coping mechanism for anything.
You know, in my own life it was had to do with pain. It was just so, so, so intense, and so it was easy for me to quit because as the pain was gone. You know, it was easy to just go off of it. So, but in other situations, if the pain is emotional, um, then also, you know, making sure that you have tools and techniques to be able to cope and get rid of some of these emotions because there’s so much, like in her case, you know, there’s so much.
Self-criticism and feeling bad about herself and beating herself up. And so of course changing that will make it a lot easier to succeed. And if she doesn’t change it, then likely she’ll just probably try to quit and then beat herself up over and over and over again. And so we go into this deeper about, you know, building up coping mechanisms and getting good with her emotions and all of these things on the next part of the session.
But. That’s my point is just the more that we each empower ourselves, you know, it’s, it’s mind blowing when you think about it. It’s like our minds. Are more complex than a computer. And the thing of it is we can see they, I mean, they literally help create our lives. We can see that through repetition, compulsion, reenactments, attachment theory, law of attraction, whatever you wanna call it.
Our thoughts help create our lives. Our patterns breed more of the same. The example. Or unfortunate example I use all the time is unfortunately, you know, a woman may have an abusive father and leave him and find the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera. That pattern can continue, but not just in that situation and on all of our lives.
These patterns are continues, our, our health, all of these things. You know, again, what was really mind blowing to me during my own injury. Was multiple personality disorder. You know, the awareness that people with multiple personality disorder could have different illnesses and different personalities was shocking.
And it really made me wanna look at the mind and understand the mind at a deeper level. And that’s my point, is that so often people are stuck with coping mechanisms because the mind can be wired in a negative way and instead of. Beating yourself up or criticizing yourself or feeling less about yourself or whatever it is.
Empowering yourself to really, you know, rewire the mind. So it’s working for you in a positive way and not hurting you with depression or negativity or stress or anxiety, whatever it is. Hurt, pain, illness, you know, fear, all of the things. But really, really changing it is of course what I’d want everybody to have.
And so it’s just, it’s incredible what we are capable of. And so, on that note, I wanna invite you again to really look at your relationships. Are you stuck in a place of wanting approval? Are you criticizing yourself? And if so. Can you start really looking at getting out of that and being willing to change to see things in a different way, and to really feel that.
And so that’s the insights that I wanna share with you today. Those are the insights. And so I also wanna ask you to please do hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know. Because the more that every single person feels happy, and healthy, and empowered, and loved and loving.
The better this world is for all of us, and so please do hit the share button and please do make a point to have the most wonderful, incredible rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We’ll see you.
Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are.
If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.
And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.
I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You’ll wanna remember that there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast. And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.
Lastly. Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won’t want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you’ll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.
